Safe Sex
by Tituba3
Summary: A series of oneshots about my favorite twosome, Ichigo and Rukia and their life in the Soul Society, one hundred and fifty years down the line. Ranges from outrageously funny to downright ridiculous to sweet and sentimental. Hope you enjoy!
1. Safe Sex

**Safe Sex**

**By Tituba**

**Pairing: Ichigo and Rukia from Bleach (as always).**

**Rating: M-ish**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any Bleach affiliates.**

His hands were tugging hard on the edges of my shihakusho. They were insistent at my obi and I was shuddering under his touch. He growled softly into my neck and I practically swooned when his teeth clamped down on my pulse point. My hands were aching to slither down his bare shoulders and then across his abdomen. My breath was hot on his ear and I could see a few ruffles of orange hair flutter every time I drew in a weak gasp of air. My shihakusho was down to my waist now and I groaned when his big, strong, calloused, hands palmed my breasts. The nipples drew into taunt peaks and I felt my knees weaken considerably.

"Ichigo…" I gasped his name like it was a fucking plea. I could feel the insides of my legs growing sticky and wet. His mouth was still shifting around my neck and his bare chest was rubbing against my breasts. Soft, ginger, hair was tickling my stomach and I could hear begging whines escape my throat with each sinful pass he made with his tongue.

One of his hands was now digging into the front of my pants. He was touching my midnight curls with gusto, his fingers were probing me slickly, and I threw my head back when his pointer finger drew across the inside of my labia. I was shuddering underneath him and he chuckled.

There was a slight change in the aura of the room and suddenly, everything didn't feel so good.

"Shit," I muttered, dropping my hands limply from his shoulders.

He kept laving my creamy skin and I growled low in my throat. "Ichigo…" I said quietly, my voice was commanding and slightly annoyed.

He murmured against my neck and then pressed another finger against my clit. I could feel my body going into flaming cartwheels but I knew I needed to stop him… _again_.

I put my hands on his chest and firmly pushed him back. He didn't budge. I ground out his name and pushed him back once again. This time, his mouth detached from my shoulder but his hands didn't move from inside my pants.

I glared at him and he glared back. His breathing was hard and so was mine; my breaths, however, had a bit of anger mixed inside of them.

"_What?_" He demanded, his hands pressing with more insistence against my tender and wet center.

I narrowed my eyes and moved to wrap my fingers around the strong muscles of his forearms. Damn, one hundred and forty five years of being a Shinigami Captain had paid off _significantly_. I had to stop myself from running my hands all along his arms and then down onto his chest. I had to focus. I jerked his hands out of my pants and immediately wished I hadn't.

"You're—" My throat squeaked and I had to clear it. Ichigo took notice and quirked one of his eyebrows upward. I balled my hand into a fist and slammed it against his stomach. He coughed and glared at me.

"You're doing it again!" I told him hotly, which, I told myself, had absolutely nothing to do with him being half naked, me being half naked, and Ichigo's erection pressing insistently against my loose pants.

His back stiffened for a minute and then he frowned, his head swung to the sides and then up and down. When his eyes came back to me I was hastily covering my breasts with my slack shihakusho. His hands reached up immediately to stop me and yanked the fabric back down. I was about to protest when his mouth came down on mine and silenced me.

He kissed me long and hard, his tongue dipped into grooves in my mouth I didn't even really know I had. It's really amazing that after nearly a century of kissing him he could still manage to surprise me. He rubbed against me and his lips tugged at mine. I whimpered against him. He was moving his lips irresistibly against mine. He was sliding, tugging, thrusting, and downright fucking my mouth. I moaned and quivered like gelatin but knew that this time I had to be adamant. We just couldn't keep going on like this.

I broke the kiss—immediately wishing I hadn't—and pushed my entire palm against his face, my fingers crisscrossed over his eyes and his mouth was stopped by my wrist. He gave off a strangled 'mfph!' and I glowered.

"Ichigo!" I cried again, angrier this time, "No! I said _no_!"

"Rukia!" He shouted, pressing his waist hard against mine, I felt his rock-hard erection rub against me and nearly melted right then and there. "Come _on_, I just got back, I've been gone for a month, I spent all that time sleeping on the ground, eating crap, and chasing Hollows! I haven't screwed you in weeks! I'm fucking _desperate!_"

"Then learn how to control your reiatsu!" I screamed back, pushing him away a bit. He wouldn't move.

He narrowed his eyes and pursed his lips tightly.

"Ichigo!" I cried, desperately trying to get my message through his thick skull. "I am tired of getting snickers, weird hand gestures, and freaking dirty looks from every single person in the Soul Society each time we have sex!"

His mouth parted slightly but his frown deepened. In his eyes there was a stare of blank confusion. I growled and threw my hands up into the air, my eyes looked towards the ceiling, and I was frantically trying to control the angrily throbbing vein in my forehead.

I placed my hands on his shoulders and shook him hard. "You can't control your spiritual pressure when we have sex! It goes everywhere! Mine too because you get me all hot and bothered!" I let out an exasperated sigh and shook my head rapidly. "Everyone in the Soul Society feels it, and trust me, they've felt it so many times I _know_ they recognize it's us! I bet they even get a whiff of it in Rukongai!"

Ichigo's mouth dropped and reached his hands down to my sides. "Well it's not like I can _help it!_" He shouted, shaking me in return.

"You could if you learned how to control your reiatsu!" I shot back, snorting slightly.

"I've been trying for the past century and a half!" He yelled and I glared darkly at him. "It's not going to work! You know that I can't keep things like that bottled up, _especially_ when I'm fucking you!"

My eyes were narrowed into tiny slits and my lips were pursed into a thin line. He was staring back at me with an equally stubborn expression. I raised a hand to my temple and pulled it over my eyes, nose, and mouth. I then tugged my fingers through my rumpled hair, running possible solutions through my head as quickly as I could. Ichigo was staring at me; discomfort was evident in his eyes. I looked down and saw that he still had a ramrod-straight erection. He was shifting from foot to foot and I could practically see him stripping off my clothes with his eyes.

"Rukia…" he groaned, he was biting his lip, his eyes were dark and heady. His face was angled towards my chest and staring hungrily at my breasts. I knew he wanted to touch them. I swear, when we first started dating—and eventually screwing—it seemed like he couldn't get enough of my pitifully small breasts. He still can't and I have no idea why. When I asked him about it he just smirked, pushed me beneath him, and tore off my shirt.

_How did such a shy virgin become such a sex fiend?_ I wondered helplessly.

I crossed my hands over my chest and rolled my eyes.

"Step back." I commanded softly.

He gave me a wary look and sighed, "Just do it." I demanded. His eyes flashed dangerously and I thought vaguely of the double meaning of my words.

He turned and I climbed onto his back quickly. He groaned softly and I pressed a swift kiss to his neck.

"What now?" He asked, his voice was weak and the muscles in his throat were tight.

"Shunpo to the Spirit-Sealing Pit." I told him softly. "You know, where I was prisoner for a while."

Ichigo turned his head to me swiftly and when he spoke his voice was indignant. "Why would you want to have sex _there?_" He demanded. "It'll only make me think of people trying to kill you."

I scoffed lightly and looped my hands over his shoulders. I ran my nails over his skin and then circled his nipples with my fingers. His breath hitched and he bent forward slightly. I grinned wickedly and soothed my open mouth and wet tongue all the way from his shoulder to his ear. I nipped his dangling lobe hard and he groaned. His hands tightened where they gripped the backs of my knees. I pressed my hips against him and ground my wet heat into him. I knew he could feel it even through the layers of clothing we were wearing.

I breathed hotly into his ear and whispered seductively, "Instead of that…" I began, knowing I would enjoy what would transpire between us within the next few minutes, "Think of me wearing a thin, white, see-through robe. It barely covers me. The tie is loose, the neck is low, and the hem is higher than it should be."

He groaned audibly and I snickered into his ear, licking the shell softly, "And don't forget about my little red doggie collar—"

He was off before I could utter another word. He flash stepped across the entirety of the Soul Society in a manner of seconds. As we entered the Spirit-Sealing Pit I wondered briefly if anyone saw us.

Ah well, it didn't really matter anyway. For now I would be content with good, old fashioned sex… _without_ worrying about who would give us dirty grins in the morning.

**(A/N: I meant to update this with Odalisque but I'll just do it now. More chapters will come. Your thoughts are greatly appreciated! Tituba.)**


	2. Kido

**Kido**

**By Tituba**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any Bleach affiliates.**

**(A/N: Hey, I had another whim. Review if you feel like it! Tituba.)**

"Focus." She said. Her harsh, grating, annoying, superficial words were grinding agonizingly into my brain. The vein in my temple throbbed and I gritted my teeth together.

"Ichigo," she said again, her voice louder this time. "Focus!"

"I'm trying," I muttered through my clenched teeth and tight jaw.

"You are not!" She yelled, she was at least forty feet behind me yet she could still hear every word I said. She knew to keep her distance when I practiced my kido. Last time I singed her eyebrows off completely and she wouldn't speak to me for three months. She wouldn't sleep with me for four either. Those months were some of the longest in my _life_. As I prepared to do another kido I felt a pit of fear rise in my stomach and instantly prayed to the gods that I didn't fuck up this time.

But still… she was _baiting _me. She's the one who's supposed to teach me how to use kido properly and she wasn't doing shit. I turned my head to the side and glared at the speck in the distance that was Rukia Kuchiki. I made sure she felt my angry reiatsu as I stared daggers at her. Even though she was far away I could still see she had her arms crossed over her chest, her feet planted on the ground, and her freakishly colored eyes pinned completely on me. I huffed in irritation and turned to the front.

Yeah, _teaching _me. Stupid woman wasn't even telling me what to _do_.

"Just get out there," I muttered under my breath, my voice rising as I imitated her, "Focus your spiritual energy and do the chant." I snarled and raised my hands in front of my face, "Do the chant… I'll do the fucking chant all right; I do it while you're standing in _front_ of me that's what I'll do—"

"What's taking you so long?" She screeched from her space far, far away from me. "I told you to focus!"

I let out a frustrated yell and whipped around. My fists were balled at my sides and my shoulders were hunched in anger. She just stood there, smiling haughtily and cocking up a little eyebrow of hers. Wait… was her _foot_ tapping? It was! Oh… that was _it_.

"I would focus a bit _more_," I shouted furiously, "If I didn't have a stupid _midget_ breaking my concentration all the time!"

Her foot stopped tapping and her frame stiffened. I saw her eyes narrow and crossed my arms over my chest. _Ha_, I thought to myself, _take that you vile woman_.

I squinted at her and saw that her mouth was moving slightly. She was immobile except for her lips and I immediately felt angrier. Where was the verbal war? I was pissed, I needed to shout at her, kick her, and have some sort of argument—only then would my temper be slightly less obvious.

"If you've got something to say then say it to my fucking face!" I screamed at her. My knees were bent and I was panting slightly. Man I was pissed. We had been practicing for nearly _six hours_ and I still wasn't able to incinerate anything around us. Bakudo restraining spells I could do—if a bit slowly—but come on. I'm Ichigo Kurosaki, I don't want to _bind_, I was to obliterate!

"Fine!" She shouted back. She moved her fists to her side and began to stomp towards me. I held my place and glared at her as she moved towards me. For a moment I wondered vaguely if I should have just shunpo-ed over earlier and given her a swift kick to the ass instead of incurring her fully fledged wrath.

Then she was in front of me, her violet eyes were livid and her face was slightly red. I glared down at her and for a while neither of us moved.

Her eyes narrowed fractionally and she began whispering, "Oh ruler. Mask of blood and flesh, all creation, fluttering wings, ye who bears the name of Man."

My eyes widened in horror and I immediately took several steps back. My hands were up in front of my face before I could even think. "W-Wait, Rukia, I-I didn't mean… you're not a midget. Just challenged vertically. I-I- m-mean—"

But she kept on talking, moving forward in the process. "Inferno and pandemonium, the partition of the sea surges, moving on to the south!"

A surge of pure fear shot through my body and I shunpo-ed away as fast as I fucking could. But then she was behind me. I let out a horrific yell and kept on going. She kept following. Damn that little midget was fast, I mean, I knew that her Shinigami talents had expanded significantly in the past century and a half but this was ridiculous! She was nearly as fast as I was and _I_ learned from the Goddess of Flash herself!

I stole a glance at her hands and saw a glob of pulsating red energy sitting directly in her palm. My face moved to hers and I immediately saw her smirking mouth and abjectly livid eyes. The bitch was _enjoying_ this!

We ran in circles around the field hundreds of times, she shot at me a couple of times and now my pristine Captains cloak—I don't know why I try so hard to keep it clean—had smoldering holes and singed edges. Not to mention my temper was beginning to resemble a frayed rope getting ready to snap.

"Rukia!" I screamed, getting freaking tired of running away from her. "Stop!"

"Why should I?" She demanded, "I'm too focused Ichigo! Because that's what I do when I use kido, I'm _focused!_"

"Damn it Rukia!" I bellowed, finally turning around to face her. She was panting hard and it was only then that I realized how difficult it must have been for her to keep up such speeds and constant kido reiatsu simultaneously.

Her hand was glowing once again but I didn't budge an inch. No, I was going to do this; no pint-sized midget was going to stand in my way.

Suddenly I thrust my hands in front of my face and sent my reiatsu flowing into my fingertips. Rukia's eyes widened in shock but she smothered the look quickly. Only a second later her stance was murderous and hand was glowing deadly crimson.

"Bakudo number one!" I shouted, praying that I wouldn't mess up and end up mangling her perfect body, "Sai!"

My spell hit her full force and nearly knocked her off of her feet. She stumbled back a bit and I immediately lurched forward, begging all the gods in heaven that she didn't fall and break something. It was only after I took one step forward I realized what I had done.

Rukia glared at me with an angry wrath the likes of which I had never seen. Granted, I had seen her angry before—extremely, extremely angry—but never like this. She was trapped, her arms were locked behind her back, she could barely move her upper body, and for once in her life she couldn't physically abuse me in retaliation.

A feral grin snapped into place on my face as I thought of the possibilities. I paused for a moment and wondered incredulously at how fast I could switch into a perverted mindset. It really was quite amazing.

She must have recognized the type of smile that had formed on my face because she immediately began to stumble away. Her legs were working just fine but without the use of her balancing arms she was clumsy and slow.

"Ichigo!" She shouted, backing further and further away from me as I advanced. Oh this was going to be fun. "No!" She screamed again.

I kept on coming and she turned around, sprinting at full speed. I used my shunpo to get over to her in less than a second. My arms wrapped around her waist from behind and I bodily slammed her down onto the ground. She grunted in pain when her arms were squashed underneath her and I rolled her slightly off of them. She was thrashing like a wildcat but I held her under, my arms pinned her shoulders and I draped my legs over each of her hips—making sure that she couldn't knee me in the groin if she tried.

"Ichigo!" She screamed, "Don't you fucking _dare_ you crazy son of a bitch!"

I snickered down at her and she kept twisting. Her chest was rising and falling with the effort she put into trying to escape. There were beads of sweat from our earlier chase running down her forehead and into the crevice between her breasts. My eyes flashed darkly and I carefully removed one of my hands from her shoulder. She jerked it hard and I glared at her, she glared right back and continued wiggling.

"Shush," I told her, a cocky tilt in my voice. "Don't I get a reward for doing a kido properly?"

"No!" She screamed but her bellowed sentiment ended on a quick gasp when I slid my hand under her shihakusho and rubbed her breast.

She jerked again but this time I knew it was for completely different reasons. Her back pushed up from the ground and she breathed harder as I tugged her uniform down even more until her entire breast was exposed. My hand immediately clamed down on the perky, petite, mound. She permitted a ragged moan to escape her mouth as I rolled her nipple between the tips of my thumb and forefinger. A slick grin brushed against my cheeks and I snickered at her helplessness. Not that I really liked the fact that she was almost completely immobile. Whenever we had sex it was more like war than actual lovemaking. She was always fighting me. We would both struggle to be on top. We would brawl desperately to get the other to orgasm first. And we would _always _spar over who got to do what to whom. It was fun honestly. Sometimes we would even compare bruises afterwards.

I had actually only gotten the gall to kiss her about fifty years after I became a permanent resident of the Soul Society and it took me another fifty years to actually get enough courage to get inside of her pants. Still, after nearly a half a century of screwing each other it was healthy for us to try new things once in a while. While we do like it rough sometimes, neither of us have bothered to break out the whips and chains yet, even though Rangiku has suggested them more than once.

Her moans were becoming harder and I chuckled absentmindedly as she grew unwittingly more desperate the longer I teased.

She must have muttered my name at some point but I couldn't hear. Blood always seemed to rush two places when I screwed Rukia: my ears and my cock. The only difference was that one of those things was blocked completely while the other one had a libido the size of a nuclear weapon.

I wanted to fuck her, yes, but right now my mouth was unbelievably dry and my tongue was aching for something I knew only she could provide.

My other hand fumbled for her obi and I yanked it away. She was always mad at me when I did that because that meant that she would have to steal new ones from the Squad Thirteen Uniform Station. She kept telling me that she was caught taking them so many times that people were beginning to wonder just how she kept ruining her other ones.

With one hand—the other was still mercilessly teasing her breast—I shimmied her pants down until her thick bed of stark black curls was revealed to me. She gasped when cold air hit her skin and I saw the milky expanses of her thighs and hips pucker with countless goose-bumps.

I put my face over hers and waited until her hazy gaze was pinned on mine. I grinned and licked my lips. I watched her gulp and then leaned down to whisper into her ear, "Don't move." I said it teasingly but I knew that it still sent shivers down her spine.

I moved my head down to her slim hips and between her strong, delicate thighs. I pressed a kiss to her abdomen and gently let my tongue slid out from behind my lips and touched it to her silky skin. It still amazes me that she tastes so good; she's like vanilla and… something else. I just seem to want to lick her every time I see her, _even_ when we're in public.

My lips brushed against her curls and I hear her groan above me. I knew that I was teasing her but I just can't help it. She gets riled up so easily, even during sex. Wait, no… _especially_ during sex.

Finally, I pass my tongue over her center and she bucks out in delight. A heady moan escaped her lips and my eyes rolled into the back of my head. Immediately I was on her harder and more desperate than I would have thought possible.

I was nipping at her clit with my teeth as my tongue parted through the folds of her pussy. She must have melted onto the grass because I swear she had gone limp with pleasure. My lips, teeth, and tongue were coated with her sweet, sweet juices as I continued. Fuck she tasted so good. From the first moment I passed my tongue over her slick, slippery, and downright exquisite folds I knew that I became hooked. I was fucking _addicted_. She was like my heroine. I just have to get my fix.

She moaned raggedly and I drove my tongue so deep inside of her that the rest of my face was pressing against her core. Her silken hairs were tickling my nose and her aroma continued to drown out my other senses as I greedily licked her everywhere. I couldn't get enough. Beneath me, she was squirming, panting, pleading, and occasionally screaming as I ate her alive.

The harder I worked the tenser she became until finally, after what felt like only seconds of blissful torture she came on my tongue. I love it when I get her so hot she can't seem to hold on a second longer. It's fucking brilliant. Greedily, I lapped up everything I could and knew that my addiction had been satiated… at least, for now.

I kissed my way back up to her belly button and felt the painful tightness in my hakama. Damn I had such a huge erection. I'll have to remember to say an extra prayer tonight, I need to thank the gods for endowing me so copiously.

My second hand was working on the ties of my shihakusho—I actually undid my obi instead of ripping it, she was going to kill me for it later—and clumsily pulled down my pants.

Rukia stiffened underneath me and I looked up, my permanent frown deepened. Something was wrong. She just had an orgasm. She was supposed to be a puddle of squishiness for the next fifteen minutes. I moved my head until it was parallel to her breasts. My eyes were staring down into hers.

Uh oh.

"Bakudo, number one, sai." She said calmly, as if she were inquiring about the weather instead of trying to render me immobile.

I let out a strangled yell and she placed a hand on my shoulder. She pushed me effortlessly aside and stood quickly, tugging her pants up in the process.

"Rukia!" I yelled and she looked down at me with a smug grin on her face.

"Sai." She said again, just as calmly, and my arms twisted even harder. I must have let out another strangled yell because not a moment later I heard her snicker evilly above me.

"Just try and get out of that one any time soon." She said haughtily and she turned away, huffing delicately, "Try and sex me up while you're supposed to be practicing. We'll I'm not going to let you get away with _that_ one."

"You know I'll get out of this!" I shrieked, honestly, I think my arms were wound so tightly that they were squashing my lungs. My normal, bellowing, voice was now a high, womanly, squeal.

She turned her head back to me and sighed, "Well if you insist…"

"Rukia! N-No!"

"Sai, sai, sai—" she finished in a sing-songy voice.

Fuck.


	3. Other Men

**Other Men**

**By Tituba**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any Bleach affiliates.**

**(A/N: Thanks for all the reviews I've gotten so far! ****This one doesn't have any smut but I had tons of fun writing it.**

**This fic was written before a Captain for Squad Three was chosen. For the purposes of this fic Ichigo is the Captain of Squad Three. Hope you like it. Review if you want to. ****Tituba.)**

I dated another man once. He was very nice too. He was a noble who Byakuya had thought would be a nice match for me. His name was Atsuya and he was the son of the man who headed Room Forty Six.

When my brother first told me that he was setting me up on a blind date with a man I didn't even know I was rather peeved and, if truth be told, slightly scared. First of all, I never thought that Byakuya would ever have the gall to set me up with a man. Secondly, I thought that Byakuya's taste in men would be just as twisted and convoluted as his sense of justice—I mean, the guy once tried to have me killed, under false pretenses maybe, but come on—still, when I met Atsuya I was pleasantly surprised.

We went out on the date about fifty years after Ichigo had come to live in the Soul Society permanently. He had been made the Captain of Squad Three and immediately threw himself into the role of being the youngest, most inexperienced, and certainly the rashest Captain on the entire force. Well, except for maybe Zaraki Kenpachi, but he's just insane.

Needless to say that when Ichigo made Captain his priorities changed a bit. I was still a member of Squad Thirteen and he was… well, _important_. He was Ichigo Kurosaki. He had saved the Soul Society a number of times, he was popular, he had a fan club, he was good looking, and he was young. There were throngs of people around who wanted to weasel their way next to him just so they could touch some infinitesimal part of his shihakusho. Not to mention there were countless numbers of women who wanted to make hot and passionate love to him in the streets of the Seiretei.

I told myself repeatedly that I wasn't one of those girls.

Either way we only saw each other sparingly. I worked with him for the first couple of years—until he became completely acclimated to the Soul Society—I mentored him a bit more, made sure he kept up with his paperwork, and taught him about the rules and etiquette of the Soul Society. Then, after about five years, we saw less and less of each other. At first we tried to keep more in touch. Luncheons and training sessions were scheduled but almost never kept. By the time I had my date with Atsuya I basically only heard of him through gossip channels. Though most of what I heard was made up. It was always fanciful stuff about how Ichigo went on some mission with his squad and ended up strangling one thousand Hollows bare handed. Things like that.

I missed him though. I had gotten used to all the fights that we had had when I stayed with him. I missed his scowl and his overly large meat-cleaver of a zanpakuto. I missed the way he could fold his arms over his chest whenever he disagreed with me. I missed his tiny room and his crummy closet. I missed everything about him.

Apparently though, Byakuya didn't seem to notice my melancholic state and thought it would be appropriate for his 'of-age' sister to begin to take a notice in men. But not _men_ men, men only my brother would approve of my seeing. Ichigo Kurosaki was not one of those men. In fact, he had never even been considered as one of them. So, intead, Byakuya had chosen one of the wealthiest men in the Soul Society.

Atsuya was relatively young, only about one hundred years older than I. He had almond shaped eyes, a handsome, round face, wavy brown hair, clean, elegant, robes, a straight nose, and full, pink lips. When he came to the Kuchiki Mansion to get me he went through all the proper channels, he spoke to Byakuya first, thanked him for allowing the opportunity to escort me to dinner, marveled at the house, and when I entered the room he took an appropriate amount of time to look me in the eye with his mouth slightly agape.

"You look lovely Kuchiki-san." He said, his voice was adequately strangled and I smiled at him. I was wearing a white kimono made of the finest silk Nii-sama could find. Woven into the fabric were cherry blossoms that ranged in color from light pink to deep red. The obi I was wearing was even lined with gilt thread, making it stand out handsomely against the pure white. I honestly didn't want to wear it because I just knew that I'd get some type of food on it. It also seemed too expensive for me to wear; I would be much more comfortable in my shihakusho. Still, I wore the damn thing, although I knew that I would come home with some sort of discolored food spattered all over the front.

He came forward and took my hand. His fingers were soft and almost buttery. My mind instantly flashed back to Ichigo when I touched him. Ichigo's hands were never soft, they were always decorated with callous' and had skin akin to sandpaper.

I was actually surprised when he took me to a beautiful soba restaurant in Rukongai. He must have seen it in my face because he laughed—it was a happy and bright sound and I immediately felt my insides warming up to him. Maybe, I decided, going out with this guy wouldn't be such a bad experience.

We sat at a classy table near the center of a large window. Our server was a kind young woman with gorgeous long hair and a waist the size of a tea saucer. She eyed Atsuya generously when she came to bring us our tea but to my surprise, my date did not reciprocate, instead he folded his hands onto his lap and gazed at me.

Flattered would not be the appropriate term to describe how he made me feel during the date. He spoke to me as if I were an actual person and not a breakable noblewoman who would swoon whenever someone even mentioned anything remotely disgusting. We talked about everything. He spoke about his family—he had three younger sisters by the way—and his position in the Soul Society. We spoke of my squad and I told him a bit about my history in the slums of Rukongai. He didn't pry too much into the subject and for that I was grateful. I honestly didn't want to start pouring out my soul to the guy. I liked him sure, but a first date wasn't the time to start spouting off stories about my childhood. Like the one where a street vendor stabbed me in the shoulder with a rusty knife when I tried to keep him away from Renji. I didn't think he'd take too well to something like that so we kept the conversation light.

The food was stupendous. We ate slowly and I was pleased to note that he never, ever, chewed with his mouth open. He was refined, well-kept, and neat. Once we both reached for the salt and our fingers brushed accidentally. I thought it was no big deal but when I looked at his face he had a pink tint added to his cheeks.

He called me 'Kuchiki-san' throughout the entire dinner but I referred to him as Atsuya, it wasn't his last name but I figured that using his first name might make him a bit more comfortable. We were sipping on cups of post-dinner tea when a commotion began outside in the streets.

Atsuya and I turned our heads slightly to watch what was happening. There seemed to be a small procession going on right outside our window. People lined the streets, children seemed to be coming out from the woodwork, flower petals were being thrown onto the ground, and cheers were being shouted loudly.

"I wonder what that is," I murmured as I sipped my tea.

Atsuya shrugged and said, "I do believe that they like to do that when Shinigami return from a victorious battle."

"Huh," I murmured, nearly uninterested. "Who is it this time?" The taste of tea on my tongue was bitter but smooth. I let it rest softly in my mouth before swallowing it.

Atsuya gave me a wry smile and nodded out to the streets, "My father said—and bear in mind that this is quite confidential," he gave me a playfully stern look and I smiled back at him, my body was turned to him and not the window, he was the focus of my attention.

My date smiled, "My father said that there was a special envoy sent out on a scoping mission towards a mountainous region outside of Rukongai."

"Outside of Rukongai?" I asked incredulously. "You mean, outside the Eightieth District?"

He nodded, "Apparently there's some uncharted territory over that way, including mountains, a river, some lakes, and many other natural resources that would be beneficial to the Soul Society."

I raised my eyebrows, quite impressed at this. "So who'd they send?"

Atsuya placed his elbows on the table and leaned in towards me, our faces were a few inches apart, "Apparently," he began excitedly. "The place is infested with thousands of Hollows, however I don't think there's anything above Gilians."

I smiled warmly, "You still didn't answer my question."

He grinned as well, "I do believe they sent your friend, the Captain of Squad Three."

"Ichigo?" I said, drawing back a bit, there was a frown on my face and a bit of confusion written in my eyes, "Why would they send him? I mean, I can understand that he would take down all the Hollows and all, but he doesn't know anything about cartography."

Atsuya laughed lightly. "Oh no, they sent people who were qualified to do that along with him. He only took care of the… of the—of…" His voice trailed off and his head turned to the side. His expression was incredulous and cautious. I frowned a bit and then followed his gaze.

My mouth dropped open completely and my eyes practically bugged out of my head. There, pressing his face completely against the glass was the Captain of Squad Three.

He was wearing one of the angriest scowls I had ever seen on him before. They were forming deep grooves that were cutting harshly into his skin. His eyebrows were etched together and seemed to have solidly engraved tiny lines of orange into his face. His nose was squashed against the cool panes of the window and both of his hands were there to accompany it. His orange hair was offset horridly against the general dimness of the night sky behind him. His eyes were a livid, furious, unhealthy shade of amber. From the distortion of the glass they looked almost red.

I, on the other hand, had my arms resting peacefully on the table. My hands were dangling limply off the edges. My eyes had stopped bugging and were now simply… large. My mouth was slightly unhinged but I remembered to keep most of it shut. I hadn't seen him in what… seven months? And even then it was nothing more than a glimpse. Now he was here, in Rukongai, on the one night when I was on a date. I mentally rolled my eyes. I could already tell that this would end _wonderfully_.

The glass must have been pretty thick because his mouth was moving but I couldn't hear a single thing that was coming from his lips. From my perspective he looked like a gaping fish.

His head suddenly darted to the sides and he shot me a quick glare before storming off. My eyes followed him and his brightly lit head of hair until I could see him no more.

"What the hell…?" I trailed off, wondering what had just happened.

"Kuchiki-san," Atsuya muttered, sounding as surprised as I did, "That _was_ Kurosaki-taichou, wasn't it?"

I nodded my head, "Yeah it—"

A loud banging sound came from the front of the restaurant, followed by a short and perfunctory scream. My head whipped in its direction and my body tensed. I immediately began to wish that I had brought Sode no Shirayuki with me.

Then I heard: "Taichou! Taichou! I don't think you can—wait please, Taichou!"

Heavy, angry, footsteps pounded onto the hardwood floors of the stylish restaurant. My head whirled in their direction and I screwed my face into a blank stare.

Ichigo Kurosaki came barreling into the room. My eyes immediately raked up and down his body. His clothes were a bit torn and exceedingly dirty. His normally sparkling Captain's coat was smeared with mud and grass-stains. Zangetsu was slung over his back but his right hand seemed to be twitching hard, like he wanted the giant sword in his hand, just in case. My gaze finally roamed towards his head and I stared blankly into his eyes.

Wow. How many synonyms for 'super-deadly-evil' are there?

"Ichigo…" I murmured. It was a lame start to a sentence, I know, but what else was I going to say to the man? I hadn't seen him in over half a year.

He stomped over to our table and turned to me, completely ignoring Atsuya. His strong body and unyielding height was making him that much more intimidating, not to me of course, but my company seemed to be a bit shaken.

"Who the hell…" he snarled furiously, "Is _he?_" He finished on a yell and his left arm shot out towards Atsuya. His strong hand landed near his neck and the poor man jumped in surprise.

I blinked at Ichigo twice before looking over at my company for the evening. The nobleman looked rather pale. For some reason, my stomach fell at this realization. While he might be polite, good looking, charming, and earnest, Atsuya was not the type who would willingly embrace a fight with a six foot tall Shinigami Captain.

"This is Atsuya." I answered lamely, I even held out my hand to sort of present him.

Atsuya looked up at Ichigo and swallowed, seemingly regaining some of his forgotten manners. "K-Kurosaki Taichou, it's an honor to meet you sir." He held out his hand and stood partially from his seat.

Ichigo didn't even bother looking over at the man. He was watching me. I stared up into his livid eyes and wondered what he was so upset about.

He took another step towards me. His shin was nearly brushing my knee. I frowned at him and was about to say something when he interrupted me. "Is he your _date?_"

Realization splashed over me like a bucket of icy cold water.

I turned around to face him completely, he was staring down at me hard but I was simply gazing up at him incredulously.

"Are you _jealous?_" I asked.

"Answer my question first!" He yelled, bending down a bit and pressing his face close to mine.

My giddiness at realizing the emotion seeping through Ichigo's voice was short-lived. It was now replaced with rising feeling of anger. I pushed my chair back behind me and surged to my feet. The chair nearly fell down with the force of my sudden motion. Ichigo didn't take a step back and neither did I. We were nose to nose… well, as close as my nose could get to his anyway.

"Yes!" I cried angrily, "Yes, he is! What's it to you?" I planted my feet firmly on the ground, my kimono stopped me from going shoulder length but I still intended to look imposing. I crossed my arms over my chest and glared at him.

Ichigo's face turned a mottled red. "You should _not_ be out on a date!" He shouted furiously. He didn't even look at Atsuya as he said this.

"Why not?" I demanded, tilting my face up a bit more. "Byakuya picked him out for me." As if that justified my outing with Atsuya.

Ichigo's mouth dropped open in horror then he pulled his teeth together in a ferocious snarl. "I'm going to kill that man."

Atsuya scooted his chair away a bit. I shot him an annoyed look and shook my head, "He doesn't mean you." I told him in an irritated voice.

Ichigo's hand shot out and he gripped my shoulder. I yelped at the sudden movement but he held on. "How do you know I don't mean _him?_" He shook me a bit and spat out the last word like it was poisoned.

I jerked back and fought the urge to step on his toe. "Because you don't!" I ground out angrily, I swatted at his hand once again and then snapped, "And you didn't answer my question!"

I could see his hand just itching for Zangetsu.

"Why shouldn't I date him? Huh? You big oaf, why not?" I took a tiny step forward and he didn't step back. We were nearly pressed against one another. In the back of my mind I realized that it was just like old times, us arguing over something, flaring our tempers, saying rude things, and name-calling… just like normal.

"Because you're mine, damn it!" He shouted.

Well… that wasn't normal.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I screamed, completely forgetting about polite etiquette and the rules of nobility. I pulled back my fist and punched him square in the gut. He grunted and fell back a few paces. I surged forward and sunk the heel of my sandal into his foot. He let out a strangled yell and I hit him once again. "_You don't own me!_"

Ichigo was bent over at the waist but even then he was still able to look me in the eyes. There was so much fury and confusion between us. I was half expecting a volcanic eruption to take place any second between our faces.

"We had an understanding!" He shouted, his voice was slightly strangled and a bit hoarse but there was no mistaking the volume and ferocity inside his tone.

"What _understanding?_" I bellowed. "I haven't seen you in seven months!"

"Not my fault!" He screamed but I could tell there were traces of guilt evident in his voice.

"Is so!" I threw my hands up into the air and fought the urge to hit him again. "I've barely seen you since you became an all-high-and-mighty captain! I see my _brother _more than I see you! You were never around to communicate any sort of _understanding!_ Don't you _dare_ tell me that it's all my fault! And besides," I huffed and crossed my arms, glaring daggers at him, "I am within my rights to date whomever I choose." I cocked an eyebrow and pulled my lips into a tight grimace.

The next moment is now recorded permanently in Soul Society gossip. Every single person who now comes to the Soba Restaurant where Atsuya took me knows the story of how I went on a date with another man and was found by Ichigo Kurosaki. Our fight was written down word for word and our expressions were captured in the eyes of multiple patrons and servers.

Everyone in the Seiretei also knows about our first kiss. How Ichigo grabbed my shoulders and yanked my face onto his. How his eyes were shut tightly but mine were open wide. How his hand reached up into my precariously coiffed hair and pressed my head even harder onto his. How after a few moments he pried my lips apart and drove his tongue into me so fast and so hard that I thought I would pass out. How it seemed as though I could only press my hands onto his chest and… and… well, whimper.

When Ichigo pulled back I just stood there, completely dazed by what had just happened, I think I stumbled a bit but who really knew? My first kiss with Ichigo. My brain was completely blank. I swallowed and simply blinked, half in surprise, half in confusion.

But he wasn't finished. He still had hold of my shoulder and was shaking me vigorously. "What am I going to have to do, huh?" He shouted into my still-stunned face, "Bite you in front of the entire Seiretei? Is that how I mark you? _What?_"

That snapped me out of my stunned reverie.

"Bite me!" I shouted, pulling back all the way. "What the hell? I'm not an animal!"

He scowled down at me and raised his hand to my face and pointed a finger at my nose, "I'll do it too!" He took a threatening step towards me, I stepped back, raising my hands threateningly.

"Try it and I'll twist your arms so hard your ribs will puncture your lungs!" I snarled.

He grabbed my hand and swiftly brought it to his face. Directly in between my pointer finger and my thumb he sunk his teeth down onto the soft flesh… _hard_.

"Fuck!" I shouted, I drew my hand back and slapped him hard. "You sick bastard!" I was screaming but he was smiling.

Triumphantly he grabbed the wrist of the hand he had just bitten and raised it high above my head. There, standing in the middle of a crowded restaurant, which was filled with the crème de la crème of the Soul Society, Ichigo Kurosaki—a runt, rash, and utterly inexperienced Captain, formerly a ryoka, formerly a traitor, and currently a venerated god—raised my teeth-marked hand, me, Rukia Kuchiki, the snippiest, iciest, prettiest, and most available Princess of the Soul Society, and shouted to everyone in the room.

"You see? Does everyone in here see? This woman is mine and if any of you mother fuckers _touch _her I will freaking kill you!" He then glared down at Atsuya and snarled wildly. "That goes for you too, ass-wipe."

Ichigo's right hand swung backwards to reach for Zangetsu and Atsuya yelped. In less than a second he was gone, sprinting out of the restaurant and into the streets.

His feral grin turned to me and was replaced by one of smugness. I only saw red.

When I left the restaurant Ichigo Kurosaki was on the ground, simultaneously clutching his crotch and his stomach. I do believe they had to call members of his Squad to come in and get him. I also know for a fact that he couldn't walk for nearly a full week. Gossip embellished it to almost three weeks. I didn't speak to him for nearly six months after that, even though he kept coming to see me at Squad Thirteen Headquarters multiple times a day.

I apologized to Atsuya even though I wasn't sure the man deserved it. I mean, he practically ran out on our date. I can understand why he was so upset and all; Ichigo can be one very frightening character. But honestly, isn't the man supposed to stand up against any challengers made towards his date?

Needless to say I never went on a date with another man again.


	4. Desperation

**Desperation**

**By Tituba**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any Bleach affiliates.**

**(A/N: Hey guys, another installment of Safe Sex, I hope you find this one amusing and smexy!**

**I also wanted to clarify something that might be confusing to people: I know that everyone who has been reading this might be thinking 'Wow, fifty years, that's a long time…' but in my opinion, in the Seiretei—since you live for thousands of years—their conception of time is different than ours. I'm not really sure **_**how**_** it's regarded but that's just my opinion that I'm going with for this fic series. So, just for better understanding. Hope it helped!**

**Thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far, I really appreciate everything that I've received, especially since these are basically a conglomeration of one-shots!**

**Tell me what you think! Tituba.)**

I've decided. I'm dying. Right now, right here, I'm dying. Dead, gone, kaput, nada, zip, zilch, I will no longer exist, air will stop ventilating into my lungs, I will keel over and fall into the ground, my funeral service will be held within a couple of days, I will be nonexistent.

It isn't even in a glorious way either! Whenever I pictured my impending death I always imagined myself on a field of battle, maybe fighting with my comrades or my squad or sometimes even single-handedly against a hoard of enemy hollows. Yeah, that fantasy is always fun to have. But seriously, when considering my death I always knew that I would go down extravagantly. I'm Ichigo Kurosaki. If I am going to be killed I am going to have to be slashed, hacked, beaten, stabbed, poisoned, broken, and blind before I ever allow my heart to stop beating. Yeah, I'm that tough.

But now, right now, when I think about my imminent death, the only thing I can really think about is the one person who began this entire fucked-up mess.

Rukia.

I'm striding limply towards Squad Thirteen Headquarters. My body feels drained of everything—blood, bones, muscle tissue, brain matter… all of it is gone. The grass beneath my feet is supple and green but all I can think about is the weakening of my heart and the fully-blown pain currently seeping into my stomach.

Kiyone and Sentaro eye me from their spot on the pavilion a few yards away. _Why are they always together,_ I mused absentmindedly, _I mean, its not like they can actually stand to be around each other._

Then again, Rukia and I can't stand to be around each other either and we're crazy about one another… so I guess it works out either way.

"Hey!" Kiyone shouted. I gritted my teeth and found my right hand longing to reach for Zangetsu and just _slash_ at the source of that annoying, ear-splitting, shriek. But I can't, murder is wrong in the Seiretei too.

Unless it was justified, I thought greedily, my mind reverting to my hellhound of a girlfriend. Well, if you could even call her a girlfriend. More like a swamp beast.

…

_Swamp beast?_ I mentally smacked myself and shook my head. All these weird thoughts were only coming to me because I was dying. I just needed to see Rukia before I keeled over completely.

"Taichou!" Kiyone called again, I squinted up at her and grimaced, I think I was trying to give her an acknowledging stare but in the end I just came out looking constipated. "Are you here to see Kuchiki-san… again?"

I nodded vigorously, not trusting my voice at the moment. I was, after all, dying.

"She's in the records room!" Sentaro screamed, giving Kiyone a smug, sideways glare. It was as if he was challenging her to yell even louder.

She did.

"She's putting away files!" She shrieked, only this time, she was turned towards Sentaro's ear. He covered them but immediately began yelling back at her. The verbal war began in no time at all.

I didn't care. I began to trudge to the records room, hoping that my legs would hold out long enough for me to see her before I died.

The trek wasn't all that long, with the help of the ever-useful shunpo I made it there in less than a few seconds. The building was old and well-used but its stately white walls and gleaming cherry wood floors gave it a sense of elegance and seniority. I would have admired the building if I wasn't in such a state of weakness and pain.

I slid the door open and it reverberated with a bang. There was a startled yelp from the other end of the room and a small, raven-haired Shinigami turned around to look at me.

Ice, ice baby. Isn't that how the phrase goes? Well there was ice, lots and lots of fucking ice… at least in her glare. She didn't even seem to notice that I was dying. Bitch.

The hand wrapped around a file in a manila folder tightened and she briskly turned on her heel, shoving her clothed back into my face.

"Kurosaki-Taichou." She spoke my title cordially but there was such an undercurrent of hate inside of her tone that it nearly caused me to shudder.

I took a few steps forward. "Rukia," damn, my voice was hoarse. I shook my head slightly and blinked a couple of times. I needed to do this damn it. I really, really, _really_, needed to do this. Maybe she had had enough time to cool down.

"Did you need something Kurosaki-Taichou?" She asked, there was a slight sneer in her voice but her back was still turned towards me. "A drink, perhaps? Something to eat? A young, busty, blonde, who, of course, would happen to have breasts bigger than my head?"

Damn, still mad.

"Rukia," I said, "Come on, you've gotta talk to me here."

Her spine stiffened and she slammed the file into its appropriate location. "I do not have to _talk_ to you, Kurosaki-Taichou."

"Then at least start by calling me by my first name!" I shouted, already enraged at her spiteful, insinuating, comments. Couldn't she tell that I was going to drop dead in a few seconds? I drew in a deep and ragged breath and exhaled slowly, willing my temper to slide down a few notches.

Damn, I never used to be like this. Whenever we fought it seemed as though I would always have the upper hand. I mean, I was bigger, stronger, taller, I had more spiritual power _and_ I had a bigger sword! But now… now this pint-sized woman was lording over me like a princess over a serf. This was unfair. Still, she had something I wanted, something I desperately needed, and hell if I wasn't going to get it.

"Rukia," I rasped, taking a few, cautionary steps forward. "Can I just have a minute? You've been avoiding me for the past nine months." Nine months, seven days, eighteen hours, forty six minutes, and twenty nine seconds. "Please, just one minute?" I had my voice melting into a little, childlike plea, I was trying to coax her and I bet she knew it. Still, she couldn't resist the overall pathetic accent my tone had taken on. She was a sucker for that kind of stuff, at least, when it came to me.

I took another step forward and she stiffened again, her reiatsu flared purposefully and I winced. Rukia had gotten so much stronger in the past century and a half. Not to mention there was the fact that Rukia just as a woman was threatening enough. Still, when she poured out her reiatsu onto some poor, unsuspecting, desperate fool like me it was to be expected that I would fall back a bit.

There was also the issue of her knees. She had bony little knees attached to some of the strongest, miniature, thighs in the Seiretei. They were just very, very, bony… I swear, when she pulls that knee up towards my crotch—as she tends to do when I've done something that displeases her—I can't walk straight for a week. It's painful too. Plus whenever she does it I have doubts concerning my ability to possibly procreate.

Her feet shuffled softly against the floors and she snapped towards me. Her arms were crossed over her chest and her eyes were glaring heavily into mine.

"Speak," she demanded harshly.

My mouth opened automatically but the speech I had prepared over the past nine months, seven days, eighteen hours, forty six minutes, and twenty nine seconds flew right out my head.

_Shit._

She was tapping her foot, waiting, her face was softly red and her lips were pulled tight.

"I—um, I…" Wow, lame beginning much? I swallowed heavily and sidled forward just a bit. This was no time to be a coward, I reminded myself, I needed to be strong.

"She was just a fan-girl Rukia," I blurted out as I came a bit closer. Her taunt frame was telling me to back away but… fuck, it was like I was magnetically attracted to her. "She told me that she was writing an article about me for the Squad Nine newspaper and asked if I could sit down for an interview."

Rukia's eyes narrowed and she flashed her reiatsu dangerously. "I've heard all of this before." She ground out angrily. A vein was throbbing in her forehead. "What I _didn't _hear was, why in fact, your head suddenly ended up nestled between her enormous… _gifts_." She spat out acerbically.

I winced at her tone. "Rukia," I whined, "Come on, she said she needed a photo."

"Then where was the fucking camera?" She bellowed and threw her hands up into the air. I leaped back a bit in the tentative fear that she would use kido to keep me away. She had done it before. I still have a burn mark on my ass from where she got me from behind last time.

"She was holding it in her hand!" I cried and for once in the past nine months, seven days, eighteen hours, forty six minutes, and twenty nine seconds I saw her eyes waver slightly. She was considering it, I realized heavenly, she might actually consider…

"Her hand?" She asked, her tone was disbelieving. "It was in her hand?"

"Yes!" I cried, willing her to telepathically understand. "It was a camera phone! She was holding it in her hand."

Her eyes narrowed and her teeth gritted against each other, I could practically hear them grinding together. I winced, this couldn't be good.

"Do you think I'm that _stupid_?" She demanded hotly. "Come on Ichigo! This is ridiculous! I have every right to be mad at you!"

I rolled my eyes and felt my insides withering on the spot. Fuck, I didn't need this right now. I needed something else and it sure as hell wasn't another lecture.

She turned around and began viciously shoving more and more files into the cabinets.

My eyes flashed a dangerous shade of red and I began to slowly advance.

"I mean, we've been together for what, fifty years or so? I know that we don't really have as much time together as we would like but at least _I've_ never gone off with another man since that horrid affair at the soba restaurant! But you know what, if you want to go out with other women who will _satisfy_ your carnal desire for larger chests then fine… _fine!_ Go find yourself a new girlfriend." She huffed and her back expanded with a deep intake of air, I could tell she was getting ready for the flamboyant ending to her dramatic speech but I didn't care. I was ready now. "Just don't come running to me when you—"

I pounced the moment she turned to face me. I was dying so naturally worrying about her temperament at the moment was the furthest thing from my mind. My hands grabbed her hips and yanked down her obi. Her eyes opened wide as saucers and her mouth dropped a bit. Pressing my body against hers I shoved her back onto the desk that was currently covered in the papers she had just been filing.

"Ichigo!" She shouted and her hands rose to beat against my chest. She had such small hands, they was nearly enveloped by the enormity of my much larger chest. Not to mention I was making it heave up and down with my frantic, near-death, breaths. Any of her appendages were inconsequential right now. Yet still, her hard, little, bony, hands were pounding on me forcefully enough to ensure I would have some bruises later today. She kept smacking them against me as she yelled. "Ichigo! What the hell are you _doing_?"

Her loose pants dropped down to her feet and I pushed her back until her bare ass was sitting on the edge of the cherry wood table.

She yelled out my name again and her hands whacked against me continuously. She kept on yelling, saying words I couldn't comprehend at the moment; I was called a Neanderthal, a monkey, an orange-haired baboon and so on and so forth. I ignored her and immediately pushed her shoulders back onto the desk. She sputtered in anger but I paid her no mind.

Then I sank so deep inside of her that I swear my cock must have been lodged somewhere around the back of her throat. That must have been why the next sound that came from her mouth was a strangled and barely audible moan.

I didn't move for well over seven minutes. I wasn't exactly sure why it was seven minutes; I guess I just needed more than five but less than ten to feel her around me. I had gone without it for so long that I was in paradise by simply being inside of her. Rukia, on the other hand, was squirming and writing slightly beneath me, she kept on making sounds, little whinnying noises that ranged from ones of frustration to ones of desperation.

"Ichigo," she ground out after the allocated seven minutes of blissful appreciation, "Move, damn it. If you're going to fuck me then do it _right_."

I sighed, utterly relaxed at the moment. Her tight, wet, silky heat was enveloping me completely. I could feel her pulsating warmth as it throbbed gently against my cock. I groaned when I pushed myself a bit further inside of her. God she felt so good.

I raised my head and wrinkled my nose at her, willing myself to glare at her as I drove just a _bit_ further inside.

"You wouldn't fuck me," I ground out levelly, as if I was just having a normal conversation with her. "For nine months." I pulled out of her until only my tip was rubbing against the wet folds of her pussy. She groaned softly and I felt some of my strength returning. I wasn't dying. This was good. I would continue to live. There would be many, many years of vigorous living, fighting, paperwork, and fucking with Rukia.

I cocked my head to the side and let a long, wide grin spread over my face. "I nearly _died_."

"Y-You did… nooo-tah, ah, ah!" Her sentence ended on a high squeal when I pushed myself so far into her they wouldn't have found my cock even if they had a GPS navigation system.

"Did _so_." I grunted as I rammed back into her. Her eyes rolled back into her head but I felt perfectly fine. My strength was returning wonderfully. In the back of my mind I realized that screwing Rukia was my equivalent of a Red Bull. Whenever I needed a burst of energy… well, just fuck Rukia.

I did the same thing, the pulling and the pushing and the wrenching and the jerking. Rukia's knees were drawn up as far as they could go. Her center was completely open to me. Beads of sweat were forming on my forehead as I tortured her again and again and _again_. Oh fuck it felt so _good_.

I could feel my orgasm coming on faster than I really wanted. I mean, she had been holding out of me for nine fucking months. If I was really to be fair to her I would have to repeatedly screw her for the next ten or so years. I did, however, have the ability to hold off my own pleasure until she actually had her orgasm first. Oh… the feeling of her pussy tightening around me was like Christmas come early.

Then again, it wasn't exactly early… Rukia _always_ comes on time.

My hands were planted on either side of her body. Her breasts were heaving uncontrollably underneath the thick black fabric of her shihakusho. There was nothing I would have liked more than just to strip her naked and swallow every part her body with every part of mine… but I couldn't. I had a meeting to go to.

I detached myself from Rukia and slowly bent down to pick up my pants. A flush ran across her skin and she quickly began to flounder on the top of the table. Papers were strewn about everywhere and I fleetingly wondered if a bit of our juices were mixed together on those inconspicuous sheets.

_Sperm paper._ I thought casually.

I tightened my obi and fixed Zangetsu on my back. I couldn't believe that I kept my sword on my back the entire time. But hell, desperate times call for desperate measures.

"The next time," I said to her, my voice weak but still managing to come out stern, "You're mad at me, just come to me and we'll fight and then have copious amounts of angry make-up sex." I came closer to her and saw her blanch in horror, desire, and surprise—all at the same time. My hands came up to her face, one of them wrapped around the back of her head and the other smoothed between her neck and collarbone.

"And if you ever," I growled in such a low voice that a shiver ran through her body, "Make me go without sex for nine months again I will chain you to my bed and fuck you so hard and so loud that you will not be able to move for three years." I bent down and pressed a hot, devilishly sinful kiss to her mouth. My tongue swept through her completely and when I pulled away she yanked me back.

We kissed for so long thoughts of screwing her again stamped inside my brain. She was definitely making some advances too, if hooking her feet around my legs and attempting to pull down the front of my shihakusho was any indication.

I finally pulled away and told her that I was late for a meeting. Her eyes were a hazy shade of navy and her lips were a delicate puffy pink. God she was sexy. I swallowed hard and tried to think of something less distracting, like… koala bears.

"I've got a Captain's meeting to go to." I said, my voice low in my throat.

Her mouth, which was dangerously close to my collarbone, stopped immediately.

She pulled back and then narrowed her eyes to a dangerous level. "Captain's meeting?" Her tone was the same as when she was accusing me of cheating on her.

I blinked at her. "Um, yes."

She closed her eyes and then opened them slowly. "With my _brother?_"

I nodded.

She slammed me away from her and sent her fist flying into my stomach. I grunted painfully and hissed when she used that same hand to smack me upside the head.

"How dare you come in and fuck me right before you go and see my brother!" She turned me around and shoved me towards the door. "I can't believe you! You _know_ he has a sixth sense about these things!"

I tried to stop her from shoving me outside but when Rukia's determined there's really nothing—short of putting her in a headlock—that I can really do to stop her.

Her thin, strong, little arms thrust me outside and I stumbled heartily. My face was red and my temper was beginning to increase dramatically.

Her robes swished around her as she turned towards me one last time, her hand was positioned on the sliding door and her face was livid.

"Consider yourself forcibly abstinent for another nine months," she spat and my eyes widened in abstract horror. "Besides, _I_ don't mind, I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself, thank you very much!"

"B-But Rukia!" I sputtered as I dove towards the door in an attempt to find some way to convince her otherwise. "I can't—I can't do… I mean, I used to be able… but not—n-not anymore!"

She gave me a hard glare, her violet eyes glinting with dark amounts of lethal amusement. She cocked her head to the side and smirked. "You're a quick learner. You'll figure it out sooner or later."

She shut the door.

Sometimes I just hate that bitch.


	5. Sleep

**Sleep**

**By Tituba**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any Bleach affiliates.**

**(A/N: I keep forgetting to update this story, so here are two more. Hope you like them and please continue to REVIEW!!****)**

I ran my hand between her shoulder blades. The bumps of her spine rose softly from the ripe bed of her milky skin. Planes of white silkiness covered her shoulders and back. My fingers smoothed down her warm skin, still glistening with sweat, until the blanket covered my path. I traced one finger across her waist and sighed softly. My breath fanned the back of her neck and dislodged a few precarious hairs that had taken refuge on her nape.

She mumbled softly in her sleep and I blinked sleepily. It was well into the night and I should have been lying down beside her, my arms wrapped around her body, my face buried in her hair, taken by the sweet escape of sleep but I couldn't seem to close my eyes. I just wanted to look at her. Her skin, her hair, her body… everything about her was so perfect.

I flipped my hand around and slowly moved my knuckles against her spine. Her breathing was so even and quiet. Sometimes I had to wake her up just to make sure she was still alive. She'd hit me afterwards of course but I didn't mind, she was alive and well and sleeping beside me, that was all that mattered.

My heavy eyes drooped once again and I thought aimlessly about the expedition I would be leading tomorrow. I was to take twenty members of my squad to the mountainous regions of Rukongai District number forty seven to try and wipe out an organized crime group that had been growing in power for the last twenty five years. It was going to take at least a month or two.

I sighed and frowned. I didn't especially want to go. Jobs like this always meant that there would be so much blood. People who were innocent would be caught by the edge of our swords while the guilty slipped through the cracks. I also hated leaving Rukia, sure I had gone away for longer periods of time but I had never liked it. _She didn't either_; I reminded myself sleepily as the memory of what Rukia had said to me earlier washed through my head.

"_Why do they always have to send you?" She demanded softly, her eyes were averted but her glare was sharp._

_I pulled Zangetsu from my back and set him on the special rack I had created just for him. I shrugged casually and answered. "I don't know. They just think I can handle it best I guess."_

"_I don't like it." She said stubbornly. She was sitting at a table near the edge of my room._

_As a Captain I was designated my own house in the middle of the Seiretei. It was a relatively nice residence; it had a kitchen, a bathroom, and two bedrooms with all the facilities needed for hygienic living. My room was the largest in the house. It had a king sized bed, a night table, a closet, and two dressers occupying the space. I had only had one bureau initially but I had ordered another to be brought in._

_The second one was for Rukia. I knew that she and I would be spending more time together here than we would in any other place. Even though she still stubbornly retained her room in the Squad Thirteen Headquarters. Most of her things—copious amounts of Chappy dolls, clothes, and paperwork—were strewn about my house. Not that she had much either, I only surmised that her days in Rukongai must have made her austere._

_I pulled off my Captain's jacket and set in it the closet to hang loosely. Rukia was scratching lightly at an indentation in the table, her nails grazed the wood gently and I frowned. "Why not? It's not like this is anything new to us."_

_Rukia shook her head and tightened her jaw slightly. "I just don't like it. You seem to get more orders than any other Captain in the Seiretei."_

_I blinked at her and raised an eyebrow in annoyance. "So? What, you don't like that I'm not spending more time with you?"_

_Her head shot up, "That's not it!" She snarled hotly as her scratching fingers curled into a fist._

_My annoyed expression melted away and I turned towards her, my hands hanging limply down by my sides, "Then what is it?"_

_She turned her gaze onto me fleetingly before shifting and staring blandly at the wall. "You always get sent on the dirtiest jobs, always the most dangerous ones… it's never a simple recon or scoping mission. You're always in danger of being hurt… I _know_ that you're strong enough to handle it, Ichigo, I just… I don't like it." She let out a heavy sigh and shook her head. "Sometimes I think about what would happen if you got too cocky and didn't see the guy behind you who was holding a knife to your heart."_

_She gave me a sheepish and disgruntled look before shaking her head and rolling her eyes a bit. "That's all… idiot."_

_I swallowed hard and looked away, slightly embarrassed by the amount of concern in her voice. Rukia's way of showing affection usually involved hitting me or screaming at me… not vocalizing her worry for me._

_Still, her words, they made my heart swell nonetheless. I'm not a very sentimental person but I can pull it off when I need to. My face crinkled into a small smile and I walked slowly over to Rukia. She was sitting so I bent down until my face was level with hers. Her eyes were clouded and her expression was darkly annoyed. I reached out and cupped her soft cheek in my hand. She leaned into me and I pressed a kiss to her nose._

"_Don't worry so much," I chided softly. "I'll talk to old man Yamamoto later and ask him to give me some cleaner jobs." I kissed her lips softly and leaned my forehead against hers. "Alright?"_

_She let out a long sigh and shrugged her shoulders. "Alright… if you _must_."_

_I pulled her in for another kiss and soon began tugging her towards the bed. She laughed softly and wrapped her arms around my neck. I brought her to the soft bedding and slowly stripped away the layers of her clothing. I kissing ever part of her imaginable and drove into her as slowly as I could. She moaned and I continued gradually. We came together and when our slow and sweet kisses were finished I collapsed beside her. We held each other tightly and I smiled softly. She fell asleep soon but I stayed awake, determined to watch her as she slept._

My hand ghosted over her beautiful back and I sighed softly, allowing my warm breath to sweep over her skin. A few goose-bumps rose softly on her flesh and I frowned. A small moan rose from her throat and my small frowned deepened even more. She whimpered softly and I felt her shudder against me. I rose on my elbow and bent slightly over her body. I could see the side of her face, her eyes were crinkled into a grimace and her lips were pulled tight. I detached my other hand from its place around her waist and slowly brought it up near her face. She whimpered again and grappled for my fingers. I frowned as she held them tight.

"Ichigo…" she murmured, her voice was breathy and weak and her eyes were squeezed together so tight I could see small veins throbbing inside of them. Her fingers were gripping mine hard. I frowned down at her and gently nudged my body against hers. She didn't stir. I turned my fingers into hers and gripped harder. She whimpered again and gasped sharply.

"Rukia," I whispered. She moaned softly and it was then that I noticed a small swirl of sweat on her forehead, drops were beginning to slide down her milky skin and drop onto the sheets beneath us. A tiny surge of fear formed in the pit of my stomach. I shook her again, harder this time, almost desperate to do something that would wake her up.

Her eyes jerked open and her mouth accompanied them, large gulps of air were being sucked into her lungs and her body began shaking profusely. Her back stiffened but the rest of her was trembling violently.

"Rukia?" I whispered and she jerked towards me. Her eyes were large, dilated, and frightened. I swallowed hard when I saw her. The last time I had seen her look anything remotely like that was when she stood up against Aizen, her hands clutched around her brother's head, abject fear inside of her soul.

"I-Ichigo," she sputtered, her voice was wheezing and dry. I reached my hand down to cup her cheek and she gasped lightly on contact. She turned in my arms and wrapped her shaking limbs tightly around my waist. I grunted softly but reciprocated just as strongly. Her naked body was melded to mine. Her face was pressed into my chest and her breathing was erratic. I felt her legs tangle in mine and her fingernails claw into my back. Her sweating forehead was pressed into my breastbone. I didn't say a word as I held her. In truth she was frightening me… more than most any other time I had ever been frightened before—well, except for when she died in Hueco Mundo. That was still the scariest thing I had ever experienced.

"Oh God… Ichigo." She murmured. Her mouth opened and she pressed a kiss to my sternum. I reciprocated by touching my lips to her forehead.

"Hey, hey… Rukia," I whispered, "What is it?" She squeezed tighter and I held fast. "Did you… did you have a nightmare?"

Rukia rarely had nightmares, when she slept it was almost always peacefully, curled up against me. I was the one who usually had troubled dreams; they were always about my mother, my family, or Rukia getting hurt. The Rukia getting hurt ones were the most frequent. I would always wake up with a cold sweat covering my face, erratic breathing permeating my mouth, and my body shaking hard. Rukia was always the one who would push my hair away from my face, soothe me, and kiss me gently until I stopped shaking.

Now it was her turn. It felt a bit awkward to console her the way I did. Even though we had been together for so long I guess it was just some sort of male compulsion that made me edge away from feminine problems such as these. I shouldn't have complained though. In all honesty I was more of a wuss when it came to nightmares than Rukia.

So I pushed her bangs away from her face, kissed her brow, and ran my hands over her body carefully and diligently. It took a while but soon the tremors lessened, her body relaxed against me, and the desperate sounds of fear stopped coming from her throat.

Now the only thing she said was my name.

Minutes might have passed… or hours… I don't really know. My eyes, already heady from lack of sleep, drooped even more. But I was determined; I needed to stay awake until I knew what the source of her terror had been.

"Just a dream," she murmured and my eyes immediately slid open just a bit more. "It was just a dream."

I looked down at her softly and kissed her head again. She sighed and I felt her body rest limply against mine.

"What did you dream about?" I whispered.

Her hold on me tightened and she sighed softly. Her nose made little circles onto my chest but her mouth remained closed. For the longest time I didn't think she would answer me. Her breathing was getting slower and her body was warm. I was nearly asleep before she spoke quietly.

"Do you ever have those dreams where you can't scream?" She asked.

I shook my head. Most of my nightmares involved people dying. Flashbacks of my past and horrors of my future were pressed together into a gritty and ungainly way until all I saw was blood.

"Those are the worst kind," she murmured, "You scream and you scream and you scream but all that ever comes out of your throat is a hoarse whisper." She shuddered and I tightened my hold. "I've had them before but… but never like this."

"Rukia," I murmured, brushing my lips against her forehead.

She gulped and shook her head against me, "You were tied up, I don't know by whom, but you were bleeding and dying and I was just _watching_. And I couldn't scream." She shuddered and swallowed hard. "I kept trying to help you but I could only watch. You were dying and I was trying to scream and… I just couldn't. I couldn't do _anything_."

She drew in a hot breath and exhaled onto my chest. "I hate being powerless."

I shook my head and kissed her forehead, her nose, and finally, her lips. She pulled me into a sweet, heated, desperate kiss and I sighed when we separated.

"You're not powerless." I murmured softly into her ear. "And if I'm _ever_ in a situation like that… well, if there was ever going to be anyone who would rescue me I know it would be you."

She sighed and nodded against me. I smiled softly and allowed her to snuggle even closer to my body.

"Of course," I added, "You'd kill me as soon as I got better for being so reckless and all."

Rukia let out a tired chuckle and smiled, "Damn straight."

I rubbed my hand across her back and waited until she fell asleep again. I was nearly asleep myself I was so damn tired. But before I slipped into unconsciousness I made a mental note to tell Yamamoto to pull back a few of my missions.

Anything to help Rukia sleep at night.

**(Additional A/N: Sometimes I have dreams where I can't scream. They're so terrifying. Shudders.**

**Anyway, LEAVE ME A REVIEW!!)**


	6. Underwear

**Underwear**

**By Tituba**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any Bleach affiliates.**

**(A/N: Another IchiRuki smut-fest. Background of other characters will come later.**

**PLEASE DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW!! D )**

I tugged on my underwear and lightly cursed my boyfriend for being such a sex fiend. He was lying on the bed, watching me as I dressed. My hair was a frizzled mess and my body was covered in a light pink tinge.

While I did love it when he would spontaneously grab me from work, shunpo me back to his house, and then proceed to fuck me senseless, the outcome of our expenditures was quite taxing. Especially considering the fact that it happened nearly once every week. Not to mention that the spontaneous fucking was in conjunction with the normal sex every couple of nights.

"Ru… ki… a," he groaned and shifted around on the bed. The blankets were twisted around his body but with the way he was wiggling made it exceedingly likely that his still-engorged parts would possibly be making a reappearance.

I narrowed my eyes and glanced over at him. Oh fuck… did he look _good_. His body was so relaxed and it was practically glowing. Light filtered into the room and sprayed over his luscious form, showering it in honey tones of gold. She could see his muscles practically rippling in the late afternoon sun. His tight abdomen was riddled with grooves and lines and scars that were so much more pronounced in the spectacular light filtering into the room. He had one arm draped over his stomach; his fingers were resting on the light trail of ginger curls that drove down towards his nether regions. The other hand was lying atop his head, smushing his orange mop of hair against his scalp.

He looked almost… _Grecian_, like he was the epitome of strength, muscularity, and even beauty. Granted, if anyone were to choose him as a subject model they would have to sculpt a different face for him—he just frowned too much, but still… if a neck-and-down model were needed, Ichigo would be a prime choice.

"What?" I asked him, my voice cracked a bit and I mentally scolded myself.

He looked over at me lazily and shifted slightly on the bed. He was now turned on his side and staring at me with his molten, golden-brown eyes. I had just finished clasping my bra and chanced to meet his gaze. A slow smirk was on his face as he looked me up and down, as if he were inspecting every inch of my body so it could be permanently folded into his memory. I had to suppress the urge to gulp at his intense scrutiny.

He propped up one arm and rested his head in his palm. He squinted his eyes a bit and then cast them down to our crumpled mess of kosode's, shihakusho's, and obi's lying on the floorboards. Somewhere among them were his boxer shorts but I couldn't tell where.

"What?" I asked again, more insistent this time.

His eyes took a while to slither up the rest of my body and meet mine. Not that I minded really, I loved it when he did that—when he took so long to look at me that it felt like he was undressing me with his eyes. It was like a type of silent foreplay.

"Rukia," he asked again, "Why do you wear underwear?"

The warm and fuzzy feeling that had been pooling in the pit of my stomach suddenly vanished.

"What?" I deadpanned.

Ichigo casually shrugged his shoulders and began to rove my body once again with his eyes, this time there was no silent foreplay, only speculation.

"What do you mean why do I wear underwear?" I asked, my face was fuzzed with bewilderment and my tone was slight cynical, but hey, the man wasn't making any sense.

"I mean, other Soul Reapers," he began as he sighed and scratched a random itch on his body. "I don't really think they wear underwear."

"Of course they do!" I cried. I was trying to block out the mental image of my brother being stark naked under his shihakusho. Just… _hanging_.

"Well, other than the kosode." He reasoned and my face reddened horribly. How could he be speaking about his so casually while I was trying to stop seeing my brother free as a fucking bird. "But bras and panties… that I don't really know about."

My jaw dropped and my brain was permanently scarred forever.

He slid onto his back and stared at the ceiling in contemplation. "There are those things that the guys wear instead of boxers or briefs, but those are more like Tarzan loincloths than anything else. And the shihakusho is pretty thick so it kind of, well, you know, presses everything down for girls."

A vein was beginning to tick in my forehead. "Put a lot of thought into this, have you?" My arms were crossed over my bare stomach and he simply chuckled.

"I mean, _I've_ always worn the underwear I brought from the human world and I know you do too but does everyone else wear it?" He asked conversationally, as if he never heard a words I said. "And when you think about it, you _do_ have breasts, they're smaller than normal but they're still there, but you'd never notice them because they're always packed underneath your shihakusho."

"Was that a compliment?" I ground out, feeling the vein continuing to tick.

He gave me a laughing stare and sighed, "And when you look at people like Rangiku you kind of get the impression that she's not wearing anything _underneath_."

I think something must have ruptured in my eyes because the next thing I knew I was seeing red. "And you… what? Know that from personal experience?" I demanded through gritted teeth.

He scoffed and shook his head, grinning lightly at me, "Of course not love."

I saw his body arching to stand up but I didn't really know what he was going to do until I felt his reiatsu flare up. He suddenly shunpo-ed from the bed, grabbed my arms, and then transported us back to the silken sheets, all in less than a second.

"Ichigo!" I cried, tiredly fighting him back. Like I said before, I love the spontaneous sex and all but I absolutely hate the fact that it's keeping me from doing the paperwork I'll have to finish tomorrow.

"Rukia," he teasingly chastised as he rubbed his naked body—the sheet had fallen off during shunpo—against mine. I could feel his missile of an erection stroking me through my thin panties. My nipples were hardening as one diligent hand began a leisurely stroking of my stomach.

"Now you know," he whispered as he let his hot breath lave my skin, "That the only breasts I ever want to look at are yours."

He emphasized his point by flicking his fingers across my mulberry nub—still hidden under the lace of my bra. I moaned and could feel my sex growing wet with hunger.

"…Pitifully small as they are."

I groaned resentfully and squinted up at him. "After you fuck me this time you are _so_ not getting sex for a _month_."

Ichigo grinned and moved his hands to hook his thumbs in the hem of my panties. "We'll see about that." He said as his pointer finger slid across my dripping folds.

My bra was off before I could think and his mouth was devouring my breast. I arched against him as his insatiable fingers slid inside of me and began to pump purposefully.

"You shouldn't…" he panted softly as my hands went down to wrap around his thick erection. I caressed him gently but with a growing urgency that we both felt. "Break with… t-tradition." He finished. I could barely hear him. His skillful fingers were working on my insides while his thumb rubbed my clit. The sensation was mind-boggling.

I attempted to slide every inch of my body against his while we pleasured one another. He was gasping, I was groaning, we were both seeking release. I let out a small scream when his fingers came out of me and were immediately replaced with something much larger.

We moved as one. His thrusts were timed perfectly with each rolls of my hips—that's what happens when you've been fucking as long as we have. But Ichigo's energy was something that is purely indescribable. He entered the Soul Society as a fully fledged Shinigami at the age of twenty five so even one hundred and fifty years later he's still embarrassingly young. But oh, he's vivacious and feverish and vigorous whenever we're intimate. I was like a finely tuned instrument and only he knew how to play me properly. _That_ was how well we worked together.

His thrusts were hot and hard and my nails carved crescents into his back. I bit him desperately on the shoulder and he pulled my thighs up around his waist. I cried out when he pinched my clit and I thrashed my head wildly as he pounded into me harder and harder.

When I came, I came so hard that I couldn't feel the tips of my toes. I contracted with such force that Ichigo had to slow his ministrations for fear of not being able to continue thrusting. I threw my head back and could swear I felt my eyes dilating as I rode the waves of my orgasm. It was not long before Ichigo came as well. He slammed into me as he cried out… hard and hot. Warm liquid filled me and was miraculously able to resuscitate the sensations in my toes.

He collapsed soon afterwards, melding onto my body as I held him. I loved it when he did that, let me hold him, that is. He always thought he was too heavy for me but I enjoy having him press against me, making me heavy, pushing me down into the soft featheriness of the bedding.

Once our pants subsided marginally he rolled off of me and pulled me against him. I cuddled my head to his chest and smiled wearily. I knew for a fact that I wasn't getting back to Squad Thirteen anytime today.

Oh well, paperwork be damned.

So I simply rested between his arms, reveling in the romance of what we were doing. I loved lying down with him after sex. He smelled so potent and heady that it was like a drug, just lulling me peacefully to sleep.

"You should definitely stop wearing underwear," Ichigo murmured into my hair, "It would make undressing you that much easier." He snickered lightly and tightened his hold on me.

I sighed and rolled my eyes. Some things would never change.


	7. Turnabout

**Turnabout**

**By Tituba**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any Bleach affiliates.**

**(A/N: Maianarisa, this one's for you. :)**

**A shout out to gokusgirl who left an awesome review.**

**So here's another IchiRuki smutty one-shot. I can't seem to stop writing them. Maybe it's a disease. Hmm, not exactly sure I want to be cured.**

**Tell me what you think. Tituba)**

I trudged up the steps to my office and growled heavily. God damn it but I hated new recruits. Hated them with a fucking passion. Hated them more than I hated being glared at by Byakuya for sleeping with his sister. Hate… hate, hate, and hate. I'd maybe even throw a little bit of loathing in there as well. Yes, the fucking bane of my existence.

It wasn't like I could really avoid them though. Every five years each squad is handed twenty new fresh-out-of-the-academy students to be trained and turned into fully fledged Shinigami.

Of course, all of them are baby-faced, clean, and think they know everything about anything. But you know, it isn't even those things that really bother me. It's the fact that even though all of them had _supposedly _spent five years in the Shinigami Academy none of them knew a single fucking thing about being an actual Shinigami! Sure, they knew which year the thirteenth Captain of Squad Five had supposedly killed the first Menos Grande. That little piece of information might be important in a history class but when you're caught in a life and death situation, trying to figure out whether you will be able to survive an upcoming Hollow attack, things like history don't actually _matter_.

Not that _all_ of the recruits were bad. I mean, when you subtract the number of students who actually lost control their bladders when they saw me there were still five students who could eventually make semi-respectable Shinigami, maybe even officers. And even though those five didn't piss their pants they were still shaking like leaves in a hurricane when I came up to them. Weakling, every damn one of them.

I don't know why old man Yamamoto feels the need to stick me with all the recruits no one else wanted. I've got such an array of weirdo's and misfits that it seems hardly seems like I'll ever get anyone ready to fight. Damn old man, just because I've done it once doesn't mean that I actually want to do it again! I mean, sure, once seventy five years ago, I was given a team whose combined spiritual pressure could have been packed into my pinky finger. And sure after five years with me they were one of the top divisions in my Squad, almost the best in the entire Court Guard. Still, I'm not a miracle worker and those statistics didn't mean a damn thing. What about what I wanted, huh?

There are some people—including certain fresh recruits who are now probably off in a corner crying their eyes out—that I just don't want to deal with. _Small little trembling buggers,_ I cursed as I grumpily made my way up to my office. Don't get me wrong, I love the fact that they fear me, I just didn't particularly like having to call a cleaning crew during my inspection.

"Captain!"

I shut my eyes and placed a calloused hand over my face. Sweet Jesus, what did _he_ need now?

"Yes Kira?" I ground out. The timid man, who was currently my vice captain, stepped towards my back and swallowed hard. He could tell I wasn't in any sort of a good mood, his puny intuition gave him _that_ much.

"Captain," he said in a small voice and I mentally rolled my eyes, he's still the timorous man he'll always end up being. "I was sent by Captain Yamamoto sir, he wants you to fill these out."

My eyes turned into slits and I jerked my head around quickly. Kira was standing at least three feet in front of me and he was holding a stack of papers at least three inches thick. My jaw dropped and I growled furiously.

Kira cowered underneath my livid stare and I gritted my teeth hard. "_What_, exactly, are those _for_?" I demanded angrily.

My lieutenant coughed in fear and I could see his hands shaking slightly. "Um… we-well, Captain Yamamoto said these are the Occurrence Reports from the hollow hunting expedition you took t-three months ago."

I glared at him, "The Captain of Squad Six also went with me on that _expedition_." I spat out threateningly, "Why can't you make _him_ do it?"

"B-Because sir…" Kira trailed off and looked to the ground, he almost looked ashamed.

"Because?" I goaded.

"Well sir," Kira mumbled, "He _does_ have seniority and he's a noble and he's well… he's just, he's Captain _Kuchiki_… sir."

I strode forward and jerked the stack of papers from my vice captain's grip. Cursing him mentally as I did so. He bowed quietly and scampered away as quickly as possible. I groaned low as I looked at the complicated sheets before me. All of them reminded me of the standardized tests I had taken in order to get into college, you know, back in the living world. There were always too many questions with too many answers and too blank bubbles to fill in. I grimaced and silently cursed Kira once again.

Now, if _Rukia_ had agreed to be my vice captain things would not have turned out like this. They would be fucking _different_. She would have been able to use some of her sisterly pull with Byakuya to get him to actually _do_ his fair share of paperwork.

Yeah, if she were my vice captain. But _no_, she just had to turn me down.

"_I will not and will never be your vice captain, Kurosaki Ichigo," she said definitively as my jaw dropped open._

"_Wh-Why not?" I asked, completely dumbfounded._

_She looked away from me and glared at the floor, "Because you're too stupid to realize the implications."_

She had said that when I first came to the Soul Society and was made the Captain of Squad Three. We drifted apart after that. But even during the fifty years we had been separated I never stopped wondering about what she had meant by her comment. When we finally started going out, and eventually having sex, I asked her about it… again.

_She turned her head to me and smirked lightly. "Ichigo," she laughed heartily, "Come on… I was in love with you for the longest time but I never knew how you felt. So being beside you each day, working with you… it would have been a nightmare. Distance was better."_

I sighed and grew angry with myself when I thought about it. I had been blind for so long. I still can't actually believe that in the end I still got the girl.

I hadn't breached the subject of her being my vice captain again since that conversation. But nowadays it was on my mind even more. I was getting so tired of Kira. Don't get me wrong he's a great Shinigami and all but I just don't like him as a person. I want a vice captain who won't be timid and fearful around me. Someone who's not afraid to speak her mind or to get angry with me. Someone who wouldn't gladly hit me over the head and chastise me but have sex with me later.

_Oh yeah, that's Rukia._

Maybe I'll try and pull some strings with Byakuya so he can lift that restriction on her service. I mean, he knows I'll protect her with my life. She means more to me than anyone I've ever really known and I'd never let anything—or anyone—hurt her. He knows this. Maybe after I talk to him he'll actually let her be my vice captain. Although he might have a couple moral objects considering the fact that we're screwing like rabbits any chance we get. I paused and cringed, I hoped Byakuya wasn't that in-tune with his sister's sex life.

I sighed again and rubbed a hand over my face. I had been so busy these past few nights—had it been longer? It felt like weeks—that I hadn't even been able to spend any real time with Rukia. That really annoyed me. I mean, she was my girlfriend for Christ's sake. I should be able to spend as much time with her as I wanted.

I swear, half the time I thought that Soul Society—or at least her maniac brother—conspired to keep us apart, what with the constant missions, the extra hours I had to put in training my recruits, and all the time I spent doing useless paperwork that _no one else_ seemed to be able to do, it all added up to thousands of hours that I could have spent with Rukia being completely wasted.

I pushed open my doors and slammed them shut forcefully behind me. Damn but today was a long day. I hated long days… they just made me want to go home and collapse on my bed and sleep for all eternity.

"Ichigo."

Or maybe not.

"Rukia?" I asked, caught slightly off guard by the fact that my girlfriend was sitting on top of my Captains desk. Her large eyes were watching mine calmly and softly. Her hands were lightly ghosting over a couple of papers I had left strewn on the top. Her legs were loosely crossed and a Mona Lisa smile was present on her gorgeous lips. "What are you doing here?"

A small frown formed in between her eyes but she didn't snap at me. "I'm visiting you." She cocked her head to the side and smiled quietly. "Can't I?"

I shrugged my way inside and took Zangetsu from my back. I paused and took a moment to look at my giant sword. It was probably one of the reasons so many of the new recruits feared me, I mean, with my giant meat-cleaver of a sword, my not-so-endearing face, and the fact that rumors about my previous battles were spread all through Rukongai, I must have looked almost as threatening as Zaraki Kenpachi. Yet how is it that I get to sleep with the most beautiful woman in the Soul Society? It's all still a mystery to me.

"Yeah," I scoffed, "Of course you can. I just wasn't expecting you, that's all."

She nodded and shifted her legs around a bit. I frowned and set Zangetsu down on his spot on the wall. I stretched languorously and worked out all of the kinks in my back. God today was an exhausting day. But hey, at least I got to see my girlfriend.

"How was your day?" She asked me politely.

I let out a long sigh and moved to the side of my desk. I pecked her on the lips and moved so I could sit in my official captains' chair. As I plopped down I saw Rukia twist on my desk and turn to face me.

My eyes were level with her chin and I smiled. While seeing Rukia in a mood like this—and by that I meant being so demure and compliant—was rare it was kind of nice. "Long," I told her truthfully. "I've got new recruits."

"Oh," she murmured softly, "That's too bad." She uncrossed her legs and spread them barely two inches apart.

"Yeah," I told her, completely oblivious to the fact that the neckline to her strange looking shihakusho was lower than normal and that her obi was quite loose. "Most of them pissed their pants when they saw me."

"Really?" She asked and shrugged her shoulders softly. Her hair shifted around her face and spilled over onto her collar. I frowned a bit more than normal and felt a small stirring of my loins. I cursed myself inwardly. Rukia was just concerned about my day. I didn't think she'd like it very much if I jumped her while she was inquiring about my work. "That must have been messy."

I stole a glance at her legs, which I hadn't—for some insanely unknown reason—noticed before now and blinked.

"Rukia," I said incredulously, "What are you wearing?"

She tilted her head to the side and then plucked at the thin garment she was so casually sporting. I paid more attention to her movements as she opened her legs a bit wider and allowed the short garment to ride up just a bit.

"Oh this?" She said quietly, "Just my yukata."

I swallowed dryly as her hand ran down from the center of her collarbone and down… down… down… Her fingers pushed the material aside and she craned her neck to the side. The entire length of her right side, breast to neck, was exposed to me.

I could no longer feel my face. There was no blood in it. It had all gone south.

"That," I rasped out, "Is _not_ your yukata."

I wanted to kick myself in the head but she just laughed. She shrugged the other part of her robe off and let it fall to her waist. My throat constricted and I felt my breathing growing harsher and scratchier by the second.

"I know," she murmured softly, loosening the tie near her stomach. The bright red strip of cloth dropped to the top of my desk and I felt my body quivering with heat. "It's new. I wanted to show it to you first."

She lifted up her leg up just a tad and slid her foot along the top length of my thigh. I clenched my teeth hard and hissed when her tiny toes flexed on my shihakusho and dug in tightly. She repeated the motion and I groaned when her nimble toes moved closer and closer to the growing hardness on the front of my uniform.

Her heel ground gently into me and I gasped at the sensation. Her languid body was swaying in time with her foot. Her hips were rocking gently from side to side, grinding her bottom into the top of my desk. Her nipples bounced lightly on her breasts as she inversely slithered her stomach back and her chest forward, continuing in a rhythmic dance that was making me crazy. Her eyes were half-lidded and dazed but filled with scintillating passion. My hands gripped the arms of my chair hard. I was nearly breaking the wooden thing into splinters.

"Ru—Rukia," I gasped hotly. I arched my back and pressed erection even further into her grinding heel.

She chuckled and it sounded—even through my throbbing ears—a bit dark. I threw my head back a bit and clenched my teeth until I was sure one of them cracked. My hands were itching to reach up and touch her breasts, my tongue wanted to taste hers, and my cock most definitely wanted to be inside her.

The pressure on my erection vanished completely and my eyes flew open. My fuzzy gaze tried to focus on Rukia but she wasn't in front of me. I panted hard as I saw her slink down in front of me. Her hands were steady as she undid my obi and yanked down my uniform pants. She pulled them down and allowed my cock to spring free. My chest was heaving up and down and my eyes were dilated until they were mere pinpoints against the rest of my features. My face, which was normally covered in frown lines, was smooth and covered in a thin film of sweat.

A long, slim, finger tapped the base of my erection. I jerked forward in my seat and groaned. God, it was almost embarrassing that I was moaning this much. Normally I grunted or breathed hard when we had sex… but moan? No, see, _Rukia_ was the one who moaned during sex, not me.

Her finger languidly traced up one side of my fully-erect cock, swirled around the tip, and went back down the other side. I hissed when she repeated it again and again. Her fingers were wet and sticky with the juices leaking from my tip. I looked down softly and practically choked when I saw her take her fingers into her mouth and suckle them lightly. Her eyes were hot on mine and staring at me like she wanted to swallow me whole.

Then she did. She fucking swallowed me. Her lips closed over the tip of my erection and her teeth scraped it lightly. I jerked in my seat and let out a long, ragged, torturous, groan. I pushed my hips up lightly and pushed myself further and further into her mouth until I was touching the very back of her throat. She moaned softly and I shivered as the vibrations traveled up my entire body. She sucked hard on me and began to move up and down, mimicking the actions of sex. My hands finally left my tattered chair arms and reached for her head. I tangled my fingers into her hair and groaned again. She began to work harder and harder, sucking and licking and teasing and tasting. I could feel my body shaking and knew that I was close.

Only… only… she knew—she _knew_!

Her mouth left my cock and I nearly cried out at the sudden freezing feeling that was now encompassing my nether regions. Her warm, wet, succulent, mouth was now kissing its way up my chest, her hands were rubbing the insides and outsides of my thighs, her teeth were pulling at the edges of my shihakusho and my captain's jacket. She was murmuring my name as she arched her body to slide along mine. Her hands were gripping the edges of the chair near my ass and supporting her body as she moved. Her breasts rubbed against my now naked chest and I gripped her hips as she positioned herself over me.

I saw stars when she enveloped me. This was tighter, wetter, hotter, and more delicious than when I was inside her mouth. My arms wrapped around her waist entirely until I was able to touch her curls and tease her clit. She lurched above me and kept moving, kept sliding, kept grinding. My muscles tensed and released whenever she pulled me in and out of her. Her hands were working miracles on my chest; she was pinching my nipples and her mouth was heatedly nipping my collar.

In the back of my mind I realized I hadn't even kissed her yet. The moment I realized she and I were coming I used my free hand to grasp her head and yank her lips onto mine. My tongue invaded her with a force unlike any she had seen before. I fucking demolished her as I sucked on every part of her deliciously silken mouth. Nothing was safe from my oral assault.

When we came we shrieked into each other's mouths. She shuddered violently and collapsed onto my chest. I breathed hotly into her hair as she settled her head into the nook of my shoulder and neck. We panted hotly and I stroked her back. She loves it when I do that, especially post-coital.

"Mmm," she murmured, kissing the side of my neck and then gently licking it with her sinful tongue. "I hope that made your day better."

I snorted softly and settled more comfortably into my seat, I had nearly forgotten about the rest of my day. Oh well, sex with Rukia tended to make me forget… well, anything really.

Except maybe one thing.

"Hey Rukia," I muttered, trailing kisses down her neck.

"Hm?" She sighed. She was almost asleep; I could feel her eyelashes fluttering languidly over my skin. She was fighting to stay awake.

"You wanna be my vice captain?" I whispered, holding her a bit tighter.

She yawned against me and nuzzled her face even further into my neck. "Sure." She muttered.

A large grin shoved its way onto my face and I snickered inwardly. My hands continued to caress her skin as my inner-self did a smug happy dance.

But damn, if she was going to be my vice captain I could certainly look forward to a few more late nights at the office.


	8. Lost and Found

**Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any Bleach affiliates.**

**(A/N: Just remembered that I hadn't updated this fic in a while. Thought I might as well do it now!**

**Enjoy and Review!s**

**Tituba.)**

**Lost and Found**

**By Tituba**

I left him once. I wasn't even sure why I went. All I knew was that I was angry beyond measure, he was stubbornly resilient, and I was ready to drive Sode no Shiryauki through anything—metal, meat, bone, and flesh. That was how angry I was with Captain Ichigo Kurosaki, my superior, my lover, and my friend. I can't even remember what the fight was about yet I still knew that I was angrier than I had ever been in my life. Still, even through the haze of fury I was rash. I just didn't think.

I was with Ukitake-taicho in the very next hour. My mind was still buzzing from the adrenaline of our heated fight and I begged him to send me somewhere. He was puzzled at first, his eyes showed the type of concern that a father would give to a daughter. I knew how I must have looked to him: my eyes were rimmed with crimson although I never allowed myself to cry, my face was a pale shade, my teeth were biting my lips so hard that blood pooled to the surface, and my stance was one fit to kill.

He asked me what was wrong. I told him it was nothing. I told him that I was tired of sitting at my desk, doing hours of paperwork each day and then training later in the evening. I was tired of coddling Ichigo with a desk job while I wanted to be out in the field more. I wanted to be back out there, I wanted to lead an expedition to take down Hollows.

He wouldn't let me go at first, he told me that I was being too rash and that I needed to think this through. I think he saw the tears that were threatening to spill from my angry eyes—you know how men are, they can't stand to see a woman in tears—and he immediately caved. He gave me a team of twelve people, opened the spirit gates, and sent us into a mountainous region filled with all types of disgusting vermin Hollow.

I spent three months in that place. Three long months where I did nothing but wake up before the hours of dawn, fly along the tops of the hilly mountains, and take down creature after creature after filthy creature.

My subordinates thought I was insane. They knew well enough to stay away from me during this time. I ate alone, slept alone, fought alone, and only spoke long enough to give them orders. They did, however, discover that I was an effective and merciless leader. I did not give breaks. I made them fight for countless hours. If someone slipped up they were punished. If someone questioned my orders they were made to fight alone. I drove them hard and in the beginning I was hated but near the end I was respected beyond measure. My anger had changed the way people saw me as a person and as a Shinigami. I heard them whisper that I was nearly as frightening as my brother. In the beginning this pleased me but near the end of my assignment I was frustrated with what I had become… seemingly overnight.

I had never wanted this. I had never wanted to be a slave to emotions as tricky as anger. It only brought trouble and that was something I never liked dealing with. I had told myself over and over as Ichigo and I fought that I was a Kuchiki, I did not wear my heart on my sleeve nor did I let my temper get the better of me in any situation. Still, anger was there and I couldn't help but let it take advantage of me. So… I just left.

Since I've been with Ichigo my personality had changed so much. I am no longer able to keep hold of the feelings he evokes inside of me. I wish I could but I can't. Even if he doesn't always notice it I _change_ when he's around. When I'm in a good mood seeing him makes it better and when I'm aggravated… well, he's my punching bag. Still, it seems as though everything I've repressed since becoming a Shinigami comes to light when he's around.

For better or for worse.

We destroyed all of the Hollows in the area efficiently and quickly. My position as a leader was solidified the moment I stepped to the front of my company in our return back home. Each soldier was tired and haggard but they stood straight and proud as they followed me through the gates and reentered the Seiretei. Ukitake-taicho was waiting for us upon our return.

He immediately asked me how many Hollows we had taken down. My answer really did deserve a small amount of smugness but I showed none in my face. I told him the number was over one thousand. The Captain's eyes widened and he looked to the rest of my company for confirmation. They all nodded and I grinned.

The flabbergasted expression on the Captain's face spoke volumes but I only smiled at him. It was a strange sensation for my face to feel considering the state I had been in during the past three months.

The soldiers looked towards me, silently asking permission to leave, and I nodded to all of them. They came forward, shook my hand, and dispersed, whispering about me as they went. Some was good, some was… _interesting_, but nothing was overtly horrible.

Ukitake-taicho came to me when everyone had left and grasped my small, weathered, hands in his. He smiled a warm, slightly awed, smile and tightened his hold.

"How are you, Rukia?" He asked me quietly.

"I'm fine," I murmured and shrugged softly, "You know, after we killed all those Hollows, it made me feel better."

He paused for a moment and pursed his lips together. My eyes narrowed slightly and I leaned forward a bit. "Ukitake-taicho?" I asked. "Is something wrong?"

He looked to the side and drew in a breath, mumbling softly. "Kurosaki-taicho…"

I immediately withdrew my fingers from his and bowed my head respectfully. "Don't worry, Taicho, I'll… deal with him." I looked to the ground and drew in a couple of deep breaths.

With one final nod towards my Taicho—who lovingly told me to go home, take a bath, and get some rest—I quickly shunpo-ed back to Ichigo's house. I knew it was rather pretentious for me to immediately come to his home after I had been away for so long, not to mention I had to consider how rudely I left, but most of my things were in his place, so it was only logical that I would come here. I mean, we had been practically living together for years. Still, I needed to stay. I needed to wait for him. We needed to talk.

When I stepped inside the door I slipped off my shoes and slowly walked towards the bedroom. To the side was Ichigo's adjacent bathroom and I knew that I needed a shower before I could even think of being presentable. Hygiene hadn't been one of my more pertinent responsibilities over the past months. I groaned lightly and checked the clock. It was already bit later in the afternoon. If Ichigo wasn't home now—as I hoped he wasn't—that meant he was probably stuck in his office doing the paperwork he's neglected for ages. During nights like these I knew I wouldn't see him until the very early hours of the morning. Truth be told, I wasn't even sure if he would come. I knew that he would hear of my arrival sooner or later. Maybe he would be too angry to even want to see me. I felt my shoulders slump slightly and wondered if I would have to sleep at the Squad Thirteen barracks for the next couple of nights.

My hands moved to my obi and I untied it. I walked into the room we frequently shared and stood silently as I let it all soak back in. I could smell his unique scent floating throughout the room. I covered every surface. His shihakusho's were in his side of the closet—I still couldn't believe he had allowed me to put my robes inside his closet, although he had drawn a line at the Chappy pajamas being seen next to his captains robe—a few of his socks were left around the floor, and the sheets on the bed looked like they hadn't been made in weeks.

My stomach twisted as she slipped off my black outer hakama. I folded it neatly and set it in the corner before walking towards the shower. My breathing was slightly uneven as I turned on the water and let it slip over my body.

I knew I shouldn't have been afraid of Ichigo's impending arrival. We had been through worse together. We had had fights far more serious than this one and we had gotten through all of them.

Still, for all of those times neither one of them had ever gone away. We had always stayed inside the house and talked—yelled—about our problems until they were solved or at least somewhat _re_solved. Most of those times we would have furiously heated sex afterwards and then simply revel in delicious feelings of the afterglow. Biting my lip as I rinsed away months worth of dirt and grime, I thought of what might happen when Ichigo got home.

He would yell, that was obvious enough. His face would become extremely red and his eyes would probably bug out of his head at the very sight of me. He would grab hold of me, shake my shoulders, scream, and bring his nose so close to mine that we almost touched.

The water turned lukewarm and I sighed softly. I turned off the faucet and stepped out, shivering slightly in the cool afternoon air entering through the cracked window. I took a towel off the rack and used it to dry my hair before wrapping it around my small body. I rocked on the balls of my feet, stretching and relaxing my calves, before walking out of the bathroom. I needed to plan what I was going to say to Ichigo when he got back. Maybe if I had a monologue already prepped in my head I wouldn't be at such a loss for words when he showed up. I'd have to start with an apology, of course, and maybe add in that it was sort of his fault and then—

I gasped.

The room was dark but I could still see him. He was sitting in the chair that was paired with his desk. He was still fully dressed in his captain's robe but Zangetsu was resting safely against the wall. I swallowed heavily as my eyes immediately pinpointed his face. I couldn't see his eyes but I knew they were burning. His hair cast a large shadow over his face and I felt my breathing quicken as I saw the muscles in his cheeks tighten. I tried to say his name but the moment the first syllable went past my lips his head shot up and he all out glared at me.

I felt my knees weaken as his heady stare penetrated every part of my body. His breathing was as fast as mine and I gripped the towel tighter towards my quaking form. Even though my skin felt like it had just been left in a sauna my insides immediately felt cold as ice under the power of his gaze.

I didn't feel afraid. Ichigo could never scare me; I knew he would never do anything that would ever hurt or intimidate me. Even during the few encounters I've had with his inner hollow I've always known that Ichigo would never do anything to harm me. With this in mind, I drew in an unsteady breath and gripped the towel even harder. My knees knocked together as I took one step forward.

"Ichigo," I whispered again, this time his complete name came from my mouth, not just a part. He just stared at me. He didn't move, he didn't say a word. He just sat there with his jaw clenched. I had to blink a couple of times, clear my thoughts, and take another step forward before I was able to coherently speak.

"I know what you're thinking," I told him in a rush. That was a complete lie of course; I could never tell what was going through his mind, not even in our Karakura soul-reaping days. His face was far too ambiguous for that. "And I know I should have told you before I… I—left, but I—"

His eyes shot up to mine and I immediately stopped what I was saying. His eyes were burning into mine. They were not intense with heated rage, like I thought they might have been. The only thing I could glimpse inside of those heavenly pools of amber was the most intense, smoldering, expression I had ever seen before. It mixed together frustration, anger, loneliness, hurt… and so much more.

I swallowed and took a step back. His expression scared me. It made my heart want to break. "I can… leave… if you wa—"

My back connected with the hard wood of the wall and the towel slipped further down my breasts. My eyes blinked sporadically as I felt my body lifted until my feet were off of the ground. Ichigo's hands were thrust under my thighs and he pushed me harder into the wooden wall as he pulled my legs around his waist.

I gasped his name but instead of answering he bent his head down and latched himself onto my neck. My head was thrown back immediately as his teeth scraped down upon my pulse. My arms wrapped instinctively around his neck. His mouth moved hungrily over my collar, up the side of my jaw, he kissed under my chin, licked the hollow behind my ear, and bit me at every chance he got.

I said his name again, only this time it was louder and more… extreme. My mind was whirling fantastically and my body was beginning to respond to the proximity of his. I felt myself panting hard as he pushed into me harder and harder. His desperation was overwhelming and my mind blanked as his hand came to the front of my towel and ripped the offending garment from my body. It lay uselessly on the floor as I gasped and groaned.

I didn't have the slightest clue as to what was going on right now. I had thought he would be angry with me. I didn't know he was going to make love to me the moment I stepped out of the shower. I had been such an idiot, the guilt that had been eating at me at the end of my three month mission had slammed full force into my gut the moment I saw Ichigo's eyes. He needed me. He really did. Not just sexually either. He had been hurt by what I had done. He was angry and he was _lonely_.

Not to mention I hadn't known how much I needed this until now. Those months of separation hurt me as much as they did Ichigo. Granted, I still wasn't completely sure as to why he was fucking me right now—after everything I did—but as his hands weaved a delicate pattern around my breasts and down my stomach to the twisted center of nerves in my bundle of curls I couldn't really care.

I think I cried out at one point but the moment a single sound left my mouth it was stopped by Ichigo.

He kissed me with a force most probably bestowed upon him by demons. His lips pried my moaning, wonton, mouth apart and he slammed his tongue into me so hard and fast that the back of my head crashed into the wall behind me. I was limp as he continued to kiss me, hard and fast. He angled his head to the side and kissed me even harder. I felt his anger growing when I didn't respond as enthusiastically as I should have. I was still in the midst of trying to figure out why Ichigo was doing this after I had so blatantly _run away from him_ for three month. But his grinding rhythm against my center and his intense work on my clit slowed as he pulled his head from mine and snarled. "Kiss me_ back._"

One of his hands came to the back of my head and he forced my lips back against his. This time—although I was still shell-shocked—I was prepared. My hands rose to grip his short strands of orange hair as well as the back of his neck. This time I did extravagant battle with his tongue. I pushed against him with every ounce of power I had. It had been so long since we kissed like this. This was all out war between our mouths. Our desperation at being away from each other melted into the kiss and made it hotter than before. Not to mention with what Ichigo was doing to my dripping sex we knew it would only be a matter of time before this became an all out war between our bodies as well.

He wrenched me away from the wall and I locked my legs tight around his slim waist. He jerked backwards a few steps before tumbling onto the bed, my soft body underneath of his. My hands were desperately tearing at his clothes and it seemed as though he would die if he took his mouth away from mine for a mere second. I was gasping and thrashing beneath him, my body was tingling with heat and I was yearning for some type of release from what I was feeling.

My lips sputtered his name and I groaned as his fingers entered me. My back arched almost against my will and I clutched his shoulders until I was nearly positive that my fingernails were cutting through his clothes. The tight winding in my body was not allowing me to remember that Ichigo's body was still wrapped in yards of coarse fabric. He was thrusting into me erratically, his fingers moving like scissors as they pushed inside and out. I felt myself roll through my first orgasm and barrel straight into a second one. My body was completely numb by the time my second wave of pleasure had subsided.

It was only then that Ichigo lifted his head long enough to pant, "You left me."

I felt as though I was falling through a heated liquid pool and could do nothing more than open my eyes slowly and stare into his. There was so much pain reflected in his amber orbs that I could nearly feel my heart breaking at the sight. My jaw trembled—although I wasn't completely sure that it wasn't from the kissing—and I raised my hands to his face. I gently traced the outlines of his eyebrows, the lines on his furrowed forehead, the line of his lips—swollen from kissing mine—and then the silky flesh of his eyelids. He was breathing hard and hot and I bent his head until it rested on my forehead. My brow was covered in sweat and I pressed light kisses onto his nose.

"I'm sorry," I said simply. I didn't know what else I could say. I didn't know what else to do other than to kiss him and apologize, hoping he noticed the full weight of my heart behind my words. I said it over and over as I kissed him. He kissed me back; again and again he kissed me. I tore at his clothing with my fingers until he was as naked as I. I massaged his glistening muscles and kissed any part of him I could reach.

He entered me swiftly with the strength and force of a man desperate to finish what he started. My arms and legs wrapped around his body and I groaned repeatedly as he thrust into me, hard and fast. I pulled his mouth down in a desperate kiss and screamed when we came. His heated release filled me to the brim and slid down my legs. He thrust into me a few more times before collapsing to the side.

We breathed heavily together. I lifted my hands to his face and smoothed back his hair. He placed butterfly kisses on my face and cradled me close to his chest.

"Don't do that again." He told me.

I nodded and together we slid our bodies closer together. I pressed another kiss to his chest and he held me close.

"I'm so sorry Ichigo." I murmured, still feeling the weight of guilt in my stomach. But behind the massive waves of guilt I could feel something else pressing against the walls of my stomach. It was curiosity, and it was buried deep, but it was still there. Raising my head I kissed his lips and whispered. "How did you know I was home?"

He slid his arms down my elbows and up to my fingers. "When you left, I had Squad Eleven track your whereabouts. I got daily updates about you and your team. I even saw video footage of you taking down Hollows." He sighed and switched to his side, "I just had to make sure you were okay."

My heart swelled inside of my chest and I smiled softly. He snorted and muttered, "Remind me never to get on your bad side when you've got Sode no Shirayuki in your hands."

I laughed weakly and snuggled my face in close to his chest. A small smile was on my lips as I hugged him tight. That was my Ichigo, always my protector, even when he was mad at me. He kissed me once more on the forehead and then on the lips. As we snuggled together on the bed, drowsy from anger and exhaustion, I realized two things: one, that Ichigo would always be there waiting at the end of the day, not matter how mad we were at each other. And two, that I would never run away from him again.

**(This second A/N wasn't technically supposed to be in here. Sorry! I forgot that this was find of an older than some of my others. I posted that anti-episode-167 rant on another fic when that anime episode first came out. So, sorry for the rant, although I believe it still holds true!)**


	9. Dinner Party

**Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any Bleach affiliates.**

**(A/N: I really need to remember to update this story on this site more often. Anyway! This is what I say happened to all of our Bleach characters. ****Enjoy and please review!)**

**Dinner Party**

**By Tituba**

The phone rang beside me and I ignored it.

Ichigo was sitting at a desk across the room from mine and he lifted his head when he heard it go past the fourth ring.

"Rukia," he growled and I ignored him like I was ignoring the phone. I began humming a light tune and wondered when the vein in his head would begin to pulsate.

"Ru-_kia_," he muttered again, this time with more emphasis on the second half of my name. But no, the vein in his head would only start popping once he began to curse. So, I continued humming my tune while paying no attention to that petulant ringing beside me.

_Wait for it… wait for it…_

"Damn it Rukia will you just answer the fucking phone?"

There it is.

I picked up the receiver and began with my now infamous 'hello.'

"Kurosaki-taichou's office, Kuchiki-fukutaicho speaking. If you'd like to register a complaint against the Taichou for violence or stupidity then don't bother, he won't care. If you'd like to schedule a spar then, once again, don't bother. Just find him in the street and try to beat him up. And finally, if you're Kenpachi-taichou I'm obligated to tell you that Kurosaki-taichou still thinks you're demented."

Wait for it…

"_RUKIA!_"

I snickered and smiled over at my lover, my boyfriend, and my Captain. I could pick out at least seven veins currently pumping in his forehead, even from my spot about fifteen feet away. His face was entirely red and his eyes were blazing a furious blue. His reiatsu was pushing down on me but after nearly one hundred years of being in his constant presence I was able to successfully ignore sufficient amounts of it. I snickered lightly and blew him a teasing kiss. God this was fun.

"Rukia-chan!"

I relaxed a bit and raised my mirth-filled eyes to his furious ones. I pressed the palm to the mouthpiece of the phone and grinned. "It's your father." I told him happily and turned my attention back to the receiver.

"Sorry about that." I sighed and whirled around in my chair so that my back was facing Ichigo, whose reiatsu was increasing by the second. "But I just couldn't pass up an opportunity to torture Ichigo." I raised my hand a bit and waved my fingers teasingly at my lover. I heard an enraged sputter from behind me and I smiled.

"Oh no, don't worry about it," Isshin Kurosaki crooned over the phone. "I just wanted to tell you about a little get-together I'm going to be having."

"Get together?" I repeated, I raised my voice a bit higher so I knew that he would be able to hear me. I listened carefully and noted the squeaking of Ichigo's chair and the specified flare of his reiatsu. "What kind of get together?"

"Oh you know," Isshin sighed, "You and Ichigo along with his sisters. You know how hard Karin's been working at the academy so I thought that she'd want a little break, and Yuzu too, I'll be picking her up from that restaurant where she works, I thought I'd invite the whole Ishida bunch, and Chad too! Maybe I'll send an invite to Byakuya, if he would be interested."

"He wouldn't." I replied shortly, "But that sounds nice, I'd love to see _everyone_ again."

Behind me, I heard Ichigo get up from his chair and I swiveled around as quickly as I could. He was coming towards me and violently shaking his head. His beautiful amber eyes were wide and panicked. His hands were out in front of him and he was waving them around like he was trying to stop on-coming traffic. His mouth was forming the word 'no' in repeating and horrifying silence.

I made sure to raise one hand towards him and extend two of my fingers. I was prepared to use kido to restrain him if necessary. "When is it?" I asked sweetly.

I smiled at Ichigo and he lunged for the phone. I was prepared, I jumped nimbly out of the chair and began to prance around his office—I didn't like the word prance very much but it did describe what I was doing at the moment—while dodging blows, spells, and hushed curses. The use of hushed tones was for his benefit alone. He wouldn't dare say any of those nasty words out loud while I was talking to his father. Ichigo might be a captain but he still feared the wrath of his ex-Shinigami Captain father now and again. Trust me when I tell you, if Isshin ever heard Ichigo curse at me _out loud_ then my boyfriend would never be able to wake up from that coma that his father would put him in.

"Is my stupid son giving you any trouble?" Isshin's voice was hard and only a teensy bit threatening.

"Ichigo?" I said innocently and watched his stiffen, "Give _me_ trouble?" I laughed as I dodged a red ball of fire. It incinerated some paperwork but, oh well, no one likes paperwork anyway. He gave me a withering glare and continued shaking his head. I smiled and continued in my fake, schoolgirl voice, "Maybe just a little…"

"I'll kill him for that." Isshin growled happily. "He shouldn't take the woman who sleeps with him willingly for granted."

"Oh don't worry," I laughed and dodged another shot. "I like him alive."

"Then I'll just beat him up for you."

"If you must."

"Saturday then?"

"Saturday."

"Goodbye Rukia-chan."

"See you Saturday!"

I laughed as I hung up the phone and placed Ichigo into a triple binding spell. Triples were the only ones that would detain him now, if only for a few minutes.

"_RUKIA!_"

I glared down at him, "Oh shut up Ichigo." He writhed on the floor and I stood over him triumphantly. My arms were crossed and my legs were parted at shoulder-length. I grinned wickedly and nudged his arm with my toes. "You haven't seen your family in nearly four months—"

"That's still not long enough!" He shouted angrily and I frowned at him when I sensed his reiatsu pulse against my bonds. I slapped two more on him and he shrieked like a little girl.

"I told you," I warned him and began to pace back and forth in front of his prostrate body. He was flapping on the ground like a fish; even his mouth was opening and closing silently. Although… you know, that _might_ actually have something to do with the amount of pain he was currently in.

"Besides, I want to see everyone. Not to mention your father invited Orihime, Uryu, and Chad too."

"_WHAT?_"

I sent him a patronizing glare. "Stop being such a baby, Ichigo. When was the last time we actually had a nice dinner with our friends?" Smiling sweetly, I leaned down in front of his twisted body and patted his orange mop of hair with my fingertips.

"I thought you didn't like _nice_ dinners," he spat angrily. His eyes were glowing blue and I knew that he was attempting to raise his reiatsu enough to break the bonds without me noticing it. He wasn't succeeding. I put three more binding spells on him and waltzed over to my desk.

"I just don't like it when _you_ cook," I answered matter-o-factly. "Because whatever you end up making turns into charbroiled mud."

"At least I try!" He wheezed and I looked back at him. His left arm was currently encircling his entire waist… twice.

Maybe I really _shouldn't_ have used so many binding spells on him.

I shrugged. _Oh well, he'll live._

"I can't cook because I have a condition," I sniffed indignantly.

"Yeah," he snorted, "And it's called stuck-up-bitchism."

My foot connected with his face so hard that I knew he wouldn't wake up until the following afternoon.

*~*~*

"I can't believe you're making me do this." Ichigo groaned. He paused for a second and whimpered pitifully at his outfit. "I can't believe you're making me _wear_ this? I look like a fruitcake." I glanced at the navy blue dress kimono I was making him wear and snickered. He sure looked a lot less threatening in _this_ outfit than he did in his captain's robe, which he almost got away with wearing until I stopped him… with my foot in his face.

"No," I assured him softly and patted his cheek with my hand, "You look much worse than that."

I was out of his reach before he could take a swipe at me. He swore and barged inside of his father's house. While he screamed my name and called me things that should have burned my ears—they didn't, I've lived with him for far too long—he didn't notice that I was standing to the side with his father keeping me company. We were only a few steps to the left of him but he couldn't see us at all. We had made sure that the living room door frame was obscuring us from his view. I snickered from my perch as Ichigo stood, glaring and swearing, near us, twirling around in a desperate attempt to locate where I had disappeared to.

As Ichigo continued to curse me I looked over at Isshin, my father-substitute, practical parole officer for my boyfriend, and all-around goofball who was currently donning a bright pink kimono. His ridiculous face, which had been happy to see me only a moment ago, was now deadly/comically serious. His one eyebrow was twitching and his mouth was turned down. I snickered evilly and hoped that Isshin wouldn't give Ichigo too many bruises. I liked my boyfriend the color he was, not the many shades of a rotten tomato.

"Rukia! I swear to God if you don't get out here I'll leave!"

Isshin gave me a fun—yet sinister—look and I grinned back. He wiggled his feet against the floor and jumped out from behind the frame.

"I-CHI-_GO_!"

Slam. Groan. Crash. Scream. Bang. Shout. Smash. Gargle. Thump. Whimper.

I stayed behind the wall and listened patiently as my boyfriend was wailed on by his father and vice versa. After a few moments of enjoying listening to his pain I emerged from my spot on the wall and leaned against the frame.

"Go Isshin," I cheered sweetly and he looked up from where he was currently holding Ichigo in a headlock.

"Yo-ack—re supposhed to b-be on mhey schide!" Ichigo wheezed from his compromised position. Wow… now that's an interesting shade of blue. It went perfectly with Ichigo's hair.

"Yes well," I sighed, tearing my eyes away from Ichigo's blue face/orange hair phenomenon. "You made fun of my clothing choices."

"I apologize for my idiot son," Isshin cried. I grinned when I noticed that Isshin was purposely blocking out Ichigo's reiatsu with his own. "I'll teach him to appreciate a woman like you!"

"Fine by me," I said calmly and Ichigo shot me a glare that told me I would pay for this later today. "I'll just say hi to everyone else."

"They're in the kitchen!" Isshin giggled happily and I waved as I exited the room. More shouts of pain could be heard from the foyer but I paid them no mind. I wanted to see everyone else.

When Ichigo came to the Soul Society at the age of twenty five he left his family and his friends behind to live long, successful lives. Isshin, Karin, Yuzu, Orihime, Uryu, and Chad had grown up, had families, had careers, and finally grew old and died.

When all of them had finally taken their last breaths, high-ranking Shinigami were sent immediately to personally escort them into the Soul Society. They were welcomed as heroes into the Soul Society and had been offered positions in the Gotei Thirteen almost immediately. As an added bonus, because they were saviors and all, they were given the option of choosing what age they wanted to appear when they crossed over. So instead of entering as old and withered senior citizens, they entered the Seiretei as spry twenty-year-olds, ready to live another thousand years here in the Soul Society.

Inoue took up a spot as an unseated officer in the Fourth Squad—she said she didn't want a very high profile—and helped fellow Shinigami heal those around her. Her unique powers made her exceedingly valuable when it came to intense battlefield injuries and she was often taken out into the field as a major medic. Because of her, the lives of hundreds of—otherwise terminal—Shinigami had been saved.

Uryu ended up taking a position within Squad One. This allowed him nearly complete access to almost any part of the Gotei Thirteen that he wanted. He was often called upon to do a number of tasks that ranged from research—humane, of course, and most definitely _not_ in the company of Mayuri Kurotsuchi—to battle. So he was more or less the token, and often free-lanced, Quincy of the Soul Society.

Chad had been offered a seat inside the Eleventh Squad, seeing as how his brute strength made him quite popular among some of the more muscle-oriented officers like Kenpachi and Ikkaku. Yet surprisingly, Chad didn't want to have anything to do with the Gotei Thirteen and had instead gone off to the Rukon districts. He had decided to take after his grandfather and raise a small farm in a quiet patch of land. He only used his magnificent powers sparingly and had chosen to settle for a simple life uncomplicated by politics, power, and monsters. He had even knocked around the idea of setting up a small Mexican restaurant in his village in order to celebrate part of his heritage. It would be different sure, but then again, Chad thought that parts of Rukongai could use… _different._ After all, they had been the same for centuries.

Karin and Yuzu had come to the Soul Society and stayed with their father for many years before deciding on their own paths. Karin was currently enrolled in the Shinigami Academy and Yuzu was a sous-chef at a snazzy restaurant in the center of the Seiretei. Isshin lived in a small house near the edge of the Court of Pure Souls. He said he liked the location because it was far enough away from all the trouble but close enough for him to know about all the gossip and drama… this included every story that came to be circulated about his son, the Captain of Squad Three, and his feisty girlfriend.

In life, Uryu and Orihime had gotten married, squeezed out a few kids, and had lived happily together. In death, it was pretty much the same thing, except that their kids and some of their ancestors were still in the living world. Part of me I wondered what would happen when they decided they wanted offspring in this realm as well. Because, well, I could only _surmise_ that the twosome was happily enjoying their time as a young, vibrant, and sexually active couple once again. Yet personally I think it would be weird for my parents to die in one world only to produce a technically 'dead' brother or sister in another world.

That would sure make for one hell of an awkward family reunion.

I moved to the kitchen door and poked my head past the frame. My deep violet kimono bunched around my knees and I smiled softly. Yuzu was throwing herself completely into her cooking. Her elbows were covered in flour and her face was smeared with batter but she couldn't have looked happier. A large smile was plastered over her beautiful teenage face and her mouth was humming the words to a happy tune.

Orihime was busy hovering in a light blue kimono, wearing her signature hairpins and chatting amiably to Ichigo's sister. She was staring at what Yuzu was cooking in wonder and amazement—despite the one hundred plus years Orihime had been breathing… or kind of breathing, she had still not improved in the area of cooking. Oftentimes I thought of how Uryu must have managed eating her ridiculous food for years on end.

_It's lucky Ichigo and I never cook,_ I thought blissfully, _we know better than that._

Speaking of Uryu… he was currently setting bowls and utensils on the table. His tendencies for neatness and tidiness had not changed over the years. He was still placing everything in neat lines and folding napkins into their properly exact proportions. His fashion sense hadn't changed a bit either. He was still wearing his tradition Quincy clothing, although he had finally seen the light and had removed the mini cape from his shoulders.

Karin and Chad loomed near the other end on the kitchen. Karin was moving in an animated fashion in her standard academy garb, apparently showing Chad some new sword tactics she had learned at the Academy. Chad—who was stuffed in the corner of the room and wearing a plain kimono—was listening patiently and nodding softly at whatever she said. Chad was still the towering giant he had always been—except he was even taller now—and Karin had chosen to come into Soul Society as a young woman in her late teens/early twenties. She had blossomed into quite a beautiful woman and I had no doubt that many of the boys in the Academy were probably clamoring for her attention.

I leaned casually against the door and watched the happiness all around me. It was so nice to be among friends once again. Honestly, there was only so much of Ichigo and my subordinates I could take before I needed to be around someone else.

My mind drifted back to Ichigo and his father in the other room. I could barely hear them over the bustling of people, the screeching of pots, the banging of pans, and the animated chitchat all around me but I knew that they were still going at it. I smiled inwardly; I was glad Isshin had decided on this dinner. These people were my family and it was definitely good to see family now and again.

"_RUKIA!_"

I yelped when Ichigo's strong arm wrapped around my waist and began to tug me backwards. I immediately grabbed onto the door frame and latched onto it as hard as I could. "We are getting out of here!" He yelled and started pulling. "I can't deal with my dad right now! He must've broken three of my ribs!" He started to yank me backwards but I had a better grip. I also had the upper hand in that I knew the entirety of Ichigo's/my family was inside of the kitchen. Now that we had made ourselves known to them there was _no_ getting out of it. Not even if we used shunpo.

Then the barrage began.

"Ichi-nii! Rukia-chan!" Yuzu shrieked.

"Yo Ichigo, yo Rukia." Karin drawled.

"Kurosaki-kun! Rukia-san!" Orihime giggled.

"Kurosaki. Kuchiki." Uryu nodded.

"Ichigo. Rukia." Chad grunted.

"Oh… shit," Ichigo muttered. He had frozen in front of them while still holding me at an odd angle. I turned my head and grinned wickedly at him. His face was one of molten anger, startled shock, and burning embarrassment. His cheeks turned pink and his scowl became even worse when he noticed my evil grin at this sudden comeuppance.

He stared at me pointedly and snarled, "When we get home," he growled quietly enough so that only I could hear, "You are going to _pay_. I am _so_ using the handcuffs on you tonight."

I chose not to tell him that his comment excited me instead of scared me. I merely glared back and tried to look affronted.

"Ichigo! How can you hold Rukia like that?" Isshin gasped in horror from the other side of the hallway. The entirety of the kitchen turned their attention to him and then to me and Ichigo.

Ichigo looked dryly at his father and said, "We've been in weirder positions than this Dad, trust me."

My eyes widened and I immediately lashed my foot out, successfully kicking my boyfriend in the gut, he was shot over to the other wall and was immediately attacked by his father.

While they continued to fight I stood, I straightened myself, pulled at kimono, and smoothed over my expression. I turned to the stunned-but-not-surprised people in the room and stiffly held my nose in the air. "I don't know _what_ he's talking about."

I stood there for a few seconds, prim and proper and looking completely ridiculous in this house filled with odd-balls and after a few seconds Orihime began to chuckle, followed by Yuzu and Karin and even Chad and Uryu. I ended up laughing as well. It felt so good to be around my friends again.

Isshin finished beating up Ichigo fifteen minutes later and by that time the feast Yuzu had prepared for us was finished. All of us sat down at the table, a surly Ichigo sitting unhappily between me and his father—who would occasionally hit him for not saying 'please' or 'thank you' or 'Rukia, you are the light of my life.'

Really, I'm not kidding.

All of us chatted together—well, except for Ichigo and Chad, they didn't do much talking. I told them about being promoted to fukutaicho of the Third Squad under Ichigo, yet I did not tell them _how_ exactly Ichigo had convinced me to do so. I told them funny stories about him and he glared at me sullenly until I felt merciful enough to stop.

Isshin took a turn to dish out of all of the gossip he had heard around the Seiretei. As an ex-captain with grown and out-of-the-nest daughters Isshin had very little to do around the Soul Society. He said he had always contemplated going back out into the field but he commented jokingly that it was the paperwork that kept him away. So instead he filled his days with drama and gossip. The women of the room, in particular, were riveted by his stories of drunken Shinigami, promiscuous Captains—"Cough, cough… Ichigo…"—and botched missions. It was all quite fascinating. Isshin certainly knew more dirt than anyone else, including those who actually worked in the Gotei Thirteen.

Orihime spoke about how things in the Fourth Squad were going, told us of new recipes she was attempting, and gave a detailed description of a house she and Uryu were thinking of purchasing.

Uryu talked about his new designs for Shinigami uniforms that he had proposed to Captain Commander Yamamoto. Ichigo blanched at the thought of Captain's coats with frills and silk ties. A heated argument had ensued about the manliness of such outfits and eventually Uryu won. I believe it was due to his superior oratory skills, seeing as how Ichigo couldn't really get past 'girly' and 'stupid' while arguing with him.

Chad said little but did tell everyone that his farm was doing well and that he was having many visits from the little boy who had been trapped inside of the cockatiel for a while in the living world. He was content with his little corner of the world.

Karin went into detailed theatrics about the things she was learning at the Academy. More than once she jumped to her feet and sparred with an imaginary partner. She told us about how she wanted to get good enough to achieve her shikai form before her third year in school and how she wanted to train hard enough so she could join the Eleventh Squad once she graduated.

"You will not!" Ichigo barked as soon as he heard this.

"Will too!" She shot back, much to everyone's amusement. "I don't want to have _you_ as my taichou, baka, you'd never let me go out on any missions!"

Everyone had to agree with this but that didn't stop Ichigo from arguing with Karin for nearly twenty minutes on the subject. It seemed that Isshin was on Ichigo's side and I had to admit that at least it was the first time in the evening that Ichigo and his father had actually agreed on something. Plus they had also stopped physically abusing each other, so that was a bonus.

Yuzu told us about how she might be promoted to a full chef at the restaurant. She giggled when she told of how her boss thought that her homey-yet-exquisitely-delicious style of cooking was just perfect for any age group. Her cheeks filled with pink pride when she said that a food critic had asked to congratulate her personally once he had finished eating her scrumptious food.

The evening wore on until the stars twinkled in the sky and lightning bugs blinked outside the windows. It was nearly midnight when Ichigo and I parted ways with his family. We said our goodbyes, hugged—well, at least _I_ hugged, Ichigo was punched by his father and chose instead to stew silently in the street—and promised to get together again soon.

On the way down the streets—I insisted on a scenic, moonlit, walk even though Ichigo wanted to shunpo—I curled my arm around his and rested my head against his shoulder.

"That was nice," I said softly.

He grunted beside me. I frowned up at him yet took that as an: "I know, I know… I guess it _was_ kind of nice… but I'm sure as hell not going to admit that to you because you might start thinking that you can get me to do these things more often without being punished by the proper consequences."

I know him too well.

"I'm sorry your father beat you up so much," I said even though I wasn't the least bit remorseful.

"Che," he snorted. Apparently, he didn't believe me either.

He knows me too well.

"Don't think I'm going back on the handcuffs." He told me severely as we continued walking.

I grinned and kissed the back of his hand. "Wouldn't dream of it."

_We should definitely do this more often._


	10. Fighting

**Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any Bleach affiliates.**

**(A/N: For those of you who follow my other IchiRuki fic, Odalisque, you might have seen an authors note where I asked your opinion on flamers who do not allow the author (authoress) to defend herself against his/her flames. Those flames, and subsequently, that discussion, were brought on by this particular chapter of Safe Sex. So, I'll put on another disclaimer on this story:**

**This fic contains: Extremely horny and extremely possessive Ichigo, sexual fighting with swords, and violent sexual actions. I've never actually written anything like this before so I'm wonding what my readers on this site will think of it. So please, tell me what you think.**

**DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW!)**

**Fighting**

**By Tituba**

Rukia was in the training area for my squad.

I was leaning against the wall and watching her as she moved. I was silent and had my arms crossed over my chest. My body was incased in shadows as I stood. Quiet… contemplating…

And getting turned on.

It was late on a Saturday night, dusk was just beginning to set in and everyone else in my squad had either turned in or had gone out for a night of drinking. About an hour ago, my girlfriend disappeared, leaving me to wonder just where the hell she was and why she wasn't sucking on my dick at this particular moment, but I managed to keep my anger in check—despite scaring a few new recruits… I know, I'm evil—until I could find her again.

Find her I did.

_Damn_ my bitch is sexy when she fights.

Although I do have to surmise that it might have been because of her subsequent lack of clothing. I mean, she wasn't _naked_ or anything nor was she wearing a bikini—although I do have to admit that I did have one specifically imported from the Real World just so she could wear it now and again. Yeah the new ones they made nowadays were _awesome_.

But that wasn't the point. She had stripped off her outer shihakusho and now only wore a white under-kimono. It was similar to the white, prisoners' robe she had worn but a bit more athletic.

Like… _form_ fitting athletic.

She looked _hot._

But that might also be because she was sweating and the white fabric was sticking to her skin. I shuddered when her glowing flesh seeped through the nearly translucent material. Hell, the only thing that seemed to be protecting her most private parts from my eyes was the constant motion of her body. I was practically drooling at the sight of her dripping, beautiful, outrageously sexy, body.

It wasn't only her clothes that were making her the hottest morsel on the entire face of the Soul Society.

It was the way she _moved_.

Christ, she was like water. Her body flowed effortlessly from one position to the next but every strike she made with Sode no Shirayuki was like _ice_. Which really made sense because her zanpakuto was in fact, ice. It was like her body was making poetry with those intricate movements of hers.

She looked _so_ gorgeous. All I could really do was just stare while she passed from one position to the next. As she swirled her hands over her head I could even see her nipples through that thin sheet that she called clothing. I could feel myself growing inside of my loose hakama—I had started wearing them bigger ever since Rukia had become my vice-captain, go figure—but even though I wanted her I kept myself in check.

It was always a rare opportunity when I got to watch Rukia when she didn't know about it. The only time I really got to see her like this was when she was unconscious. Well, just sleeping really… or, if it counts, that one time when I _accidentally_ knocked her unconscious during sex…

…Or that _other_ time when I had _purposely_ knocked her unconscious during sex. That time had been fun _and_ intentional; the first time had been a _kind of_ accident.

Rukia hadn't really been too happy about the first time.

But that was neither here nor there.

Right now she just looked so _beautiful_.

She jerked forward and thrust her arm out in front of her. Her sword extended and the muscles in her arms flexed and tightened as she swished. I nearly had a coronary when she spread her legs and took her stance. The wet fabric was smothered over her legs and before I could blink the translucent material gave way to the small triangle of dark hair that rested between her legs.

My throat became as dry as a desert and my cock became as hard as diamonds.

In once graceful move she had swung completely around and finished in a long, elegant, sweep of her sword. She placed it in front of her and stood with her feet shoulder-length apart. Her blade was parallel to her nose and her eyes were closed as she drew in a few ragged breaths.

I had never wanted to fuck her more than right now.

Well, I probably have, but once again, that was neither here nor there.

She paused for a moment and drew in a very deep breath. I watched in fascination as her breasts rose from underneath her white, see-through clothing. It was completely melded to her front. I swallowed so hard because I saw _everything_ underneath. Her pale white skin shown through the fabric. Her mulberry nipples poked through as well. My eyes traveled downward and I swallowed hard. I could even see a few individual black curls at the apex of her thighs.

Individual.

Before I knew what I was thinking I had strode forward and pulled Zangetsu off of my back. I charged forward five steps and came to stand in front of my lover.

Her eyes opened slowly and when they did one of her eyebrows rose slightly. I just smirked and drew Zangetsu so he was directly in front of me. My sword was in the same position as hers and once I saw that slow, knowing, smile cross her face I knew that I was in for a treat.

She lowered her sword to the side and paused. The muscles in her body coiled tightly and tensed like a jungle cat waiting to spring. I could see them roiling under her skin and I smirked in anticipation.

Suddenly, she was gone from my sight. My senses tingled as her reiatsu flared to my right. I raised Zangetsu in defense but Sode no Shirayuki never touched my blade. Instead, Rukia simply reappeared in front of me, her sword held at the same angle, a grin on her face.

It was then that I felt the cloth of my shihakusho—thank God I had already put away my Captain's coat—slide down my right arm. I blinked twice and watched as it pooled around my wrist, near Zangetsu's hilt.

No words were needed as I looked up at her. On her face was a smile that was as dangerous as it was seductive. I grinned back at her and switched Zangetsu to my other hand, shaking off the loose cloth as I did so, and then replaced him.

This time I was the one to disappear in front of her. She stood stock still as I flew past her, my mastery of shunpo making me nothing more than a light breeze on the flesh of her body. I watched as her skin prickled and her nipples tightened as I swirled around her.

Gone went her own right sleeve. I snickered as I landed only three feet from her sweating body. The material floated to the ground and I grinned.

"Quid pro quo sweetheart," I said and I flashed forward those three steps. Her back melded to mine and I rammed my erection into her wetly clothed backside. I heard her sharp intake of breath and I grinned as I bent down, my mouth to her neck, and bit her like a vampire. She growled low in her throat and an instant later I felt something slash across my side. I jumped backwards and hissed at the sensation.

I glanced down at my side and saw a shallow cut running downward. I looked up and narrowed my eyes at my girlfriend. Her gaze was glittering as she raised her blade to her face. I titled my head to the side as I watched her take Sode no Shirayuki to her mouth and extend her tongue. It was only then that I saw the small rivulets of my blood that were running down the side of her gorgeous white sword.

I watched as she licked away the tiny drops of my blood.

I really don't think I've ever been this hard.

Within a second I was in front of her, Zangetsu was flat against her ass and my chest was pushing into hers. She let out a startled yelp and her lithe body bent backwards. My hungry mouth assaulted her mulberry nipple through the wet fabric. She gasped hard and I felt the cool flat of her blade go across my back. It gave her leverage as she leaned back and I shuddered at the sensation. My teeth scraped at her breast and she shook in my arms. My lips curled around her and I sucked as hard as I could. She yelped again but I couldn't be sure if it was because Zangetsu had pricked her or if was simply because I had bitten her too hard.

I was just really starting to enjoy myself when the next thing I knew she was out of my arms and I was missing another sleeve.

Damn.

I growled and whipped my head around. My cock was throbbing hard and I felt myself shaking in my hakama. I wanted her… _badly._

She was standing about ten feet away from me. I glared at her through the haze of my arousal and felt a rater sadistic grin coming across my face.

A growl rumbled low in my own throat, my voice sending more quivers down her back, even from this far away.

The cuts came so quickly that I didn't even realize I had been hit until I felt the entire top of my shihakusho slip from my torso.

My eyes widened as I watched the tattered remnants of my once-whole garment fall quietly to the ground.

Then Rukia was in front of me. Her mouth was hot on my chest and her tongue was swirling around one brown nipple. I felt both of her hands scratching down the ridges of my abdomen. One of her hands reached behind me and groped my firm ass. I hissed and allowed my free hand to wrap around and grab hers as well. My knees bent and I ground myself against her so hard that she grunted and fell back a step. I knew she could feel me pulsating through the thin sheets of our clothing.

Oh _fuck_ I wanted her.

She pushed me back so hard I stumbled and I barely saw Sode no Shirayuki coming as she swept it down towards my neck.

"Shit," I breathed, my eyes were fixed on the crisscrossing black and white strips of metal. For some reason—even through the haze of my extreme and almost disproportionate passion—I could only think of black and white, me and Rukia, yin and yang…

God we fit together so well.

I lunged forward as she took another swipe at me. She yelped and fell flat onto her back. I was above her within a second. Before she could say another word—or raise her sword, which was what I was most concerned about—my hand was between her thighs. She shrieked passionately as my fingers entered her. My fingers slid into her effortlessly. She was already dripping wet and her outer lips were as puffy as ever. I paused for a moment and drew in a deep, deep, breath. Her musky, beautiful, _sexy _scent assaulted every part of my brain and I think something inside of my head short circuited.

I thrust one, two, and _three_ fingers into her and she keened in heat. Her knees were high up into the air and her feet arched on the ground. I settled even more in between her legs and, with my other hand, I adjusted Zangetsu—he was lying down right next to her body. Close enough to cut a few bits of her robe but not enough to slice through her perfect skin.

My thumb rolled over her clit and I caressed the hard nub until she was thrashing and screaming on the ground. My throat was dry as she arched her back and came on my fingers. My eyes were dilated and I breathed in her heady, delicious, scent again and again and oh fuck… _again_.

I couldn't _take_ it anymore. I wanted her and I wanted my own release. My hand came out of her slick, tight, passage and I brought it up to my mouth. I suckled on my fingers as if it was the only substance that would pass through my mouth that day.

I wanted my bitch _so _badly.

_My_ bitch.

My thick fingers fumbled with the tie on my pants and—after several frustrating seconds—I looked down to try and undo it.

Big… mistake.

Rukia's heel slammed into my bare shoulder and I was sent careening backwards. It was just my luck that I had to land on a rather sharp rock.

My shout of pain would have been echoed throughout the entirety of the Third Squad training ground had Rukia not launched herself on top of me and started devouring my mouth with hers.

Her hot, wet, center found the throbbing in my pants and she ground herself on top of it like she was a jockey riding a horse. I could feel her dripping even through our clothing. Her tongue was hard and insistent as it pushed into my mouth. Christ, her tongue was so far down my throat I half wondered if she had stolen my voice. Her grinding heat, her forceful mouth, and her sinful lips were driving me insane.

This should have been the perfect moment.

_Should_ have, being the operative word… I mean, if she hadn't had Sode no Shirayuki pressed up to my throat everything would have been great.

Damn my bitch is kinky.

Granted, we've never really been _that_ into S&M—aside from a couple of handcuffs here and there as well as that whole knocked unconscious thing—but swords… damn this was dangerous _and_ hot at the same time.

However, she wasn't the only one with a blade. I mean, who could forget my giant meat-cleaver of a zanpakuto?

My hand gripped Zangetsu's hilt and I brought it up slowly. I used a type of precision that I have honed after one hundred and fifty odd years of being a Shinigami Captain.

The tip pressed directly to her throbbing jugular.

Her tongue paused in my mouth and her eyes opened even as her lips stayed locked on mine. I stared into them as deeply as I could and let her see how hungry I was for her.

I was fucking _starving._

She slowly detached her lips from mine and I smirked as she pulled away, her eyes were carefully positioned on the tip of my sword on her neck. Her face was flushed and I smirked. Out of the corner of my eye I saw her hand tighten on the hilt of her sword.

Now we couldn't have that, could we?

I shunpoed us over to the side of the training ground and thrust her hard against the side of the wall. I slammed my arm against the side of the building, boxing her in between my arms. My naked chest slid against her wet clothing and I shuddered at the feeling of her against my arousal. Zangetsu's blade was pointing towards the side of her body and—and with a single twitch from my wrist—I had sliced open the entirety of her white robe.

Instead of being angry—she normally hates it when I destroy her clothing… especially when we're having sex in rather public areas, although I would certainly know if anyone was around, no one can hide their reiatsu's from me anymore—she just ripped away what she could and tossed the garment away immediately. Her naked body was exposed to me. Head to toe covered and glistening sweat. She glittered in the dusk light.

I felt an angry slash come down my side and I hissed. It was only then that I realized that she had used Sode no Shirayuki to cut my pants away from my body.

She raised her legs around my waist and held me tightly. Her mouth rose to my ear and I shuddered as she hissed, "Quid pro quo sweetheart."

I impaled her.

With my… ah… _sword_.

She screamed and I bellowed as her wet heat enveloped every inch of me. My thick, aching, needing, erection was throbbing inside of her and I was just dying to have her grip me even tighter. I needed this. I needed _her_.

Her arms wound around my neck and I felt the icy cool length of her sword press down my back. The tip of the blade pricked my ass and I felt rivulets of blood rolling down my cheeks. Oh well, better my skin getting pricked than hers. I'd rather die than have _her_ skin damaged.

I pulled out of her and thrust back in like a madman. Rukia shrieked again and I felt her inner muscles clamping down on me as I shoved in and out of her.

"You're… so… _tight_…" I gasped, my head burying itself into the crook of her shoulder and neck.

"Shut," she gasped, her hips rolling and jerking and thrusting with every furious strike of mine, "_Up!_"

Our mouths crashed together and our tongues carried out a duel of their own. I cursed again and again, feeling the beginning of her climax and lamenting my own. But Rukia did that to me. I just couldn't seem to control myself when it was came to my girlfriend.

_My_ bitch.

I erupted inside of her and groaned like an animal as I continued to pump her. Rukia threw herself into a second orgasm and I shook as I helped her finish.

We slumped against the wall to the training area. She as breathless, beautiful, and blushing hotly.

I slowly raised my head from her shoulder and stared deeply into the eyes of my lover, my girlfriend, and the sexiest woman on the face of the planet.

Either planet really; the dead one or the living one.

I looked at her slowly, a smug grin washing over all of my features as I brushed a stray lock of hair out of her face.

"You should really think of training like this more often." I snickered, licking the sweat off of the side of her face.

Rukia snorted and wrapped her arms—and subsequently, her sword—tighter around me. "Shut up, oaf." She sighed and snuggled even further into me as she muttered, "You had better find a way to get us back home without being seen by anyone."

I grinned and pulled us both away from the wall. "I think I can manage," I chuckled into her ear. "After all," I smirked as I licked the outer shell of her ear. She shuddered and I grinned again, "I've been practicing."

And we were gone.

**(Additional A/N:**

**Oh, and if anyone is confused about the 'knocking out during sex' bit. Go to Chapter 28 of Odalisque and you'll understand what I mean. Review please.)**


	11. Jokes

**Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any Bleach affiliates.**

**(A/N: Several things to say about this really random fic.**

**1: I completed it in about two hours.**

**2: I got the idea from reading a manifesto on livejournal about IchiHime. My friend, who's trying to lessen my Inoue hatred—for those of you who know my abject hatred of Inoue this will come as a surprise. It's actually kind of semi-succeeding; the all out wish-she-were-run-over-by-a-train feeling has gone down to an I-still-want-you-to-die-but-in-a-less-painful-yet-still-drawn-out-way. Anyway, I read it and I thought of this fic.**

**3: The characters are a bit OOC.**

**4: I like Rangiku Matsumoto, I just know that people can say a **_**lot **_**of stupid things when they're drunk.**

**5: Please feel free to review. I hope you guys like this installment. But keep in mind I made it in about two hours so forgive any mistakes!**

**ENJOY AND REVIEW!!!)**

_**Safe Sex**_

_**Jokes**_

_**By Tituba**_

They said it was a joke… what we had between us, that is. It was just a big, fat, laughable _joke_. They said that it wouldn't last, that we were too different, that it wasn't right, that there was no way we could ever be together.

Yeah… ha ha ha… very funny.

So why were they the only ones laughing?

Why were we the ones to stand in complete silence, watching them as they mocked us? Why did we have to smile blithely and bite our tongues when all we wanted to do was hit them over the head with mallets and tell them to take us seriously?

Well, okay, maybe he didn't… but I did.

But I couldn't. I was Rukia Kuchiki, princess extraordinaire, Rukongai rat turned royalty, royalty turned Shinigami, Shinigami turned captive, captive turned hero, hero turned warrior, and warrior turned legend.

Then there was him. He was Ichigo Kurosaki, anomaly and superpower; human turned Shinigami, Shinigami turned traitor, traitor turned hero, hero turned back to traitor, traitor turned back to hero, and hero turned famed Captain.

But apparently, none of that mattered.

They took one look at us, when we were in our first, tentative steps of _something _called a relationship, and burst out laughing. We had to wait until their laughter subsided before asking what, exactly, was so funny. It was then that we found out the truth, and the truth hurt.

They said that we didn't _fit_ properly.

At first I was confused. Were they making some sort of argument against my height? Or was it Ichigo's height they were after? He was abnormally tall, and all that, but still. If they were making some sort of crack on _my _height I would most definitely find some orifice in which to stick my foot. But no, they weren't talking about that. When I asked them to explain—and when Ichigo threatened them on penalty of getting their asses kicked—they still didn't say anything other than that 'we didn't _go_.'

It wasn't until a few years later, when I was out drinking with Rangiku—water for me, of course, since it was earlier decided that _someone_ in our little group needed to be able to hold a sword properly if we got attacked by thugs on the street—that I found out what people were _really _saying.

_I took another sip of my water and passed a sidelong glance at my drunken friend. Her nose was as red as a ripe tomato and her cheeks were just the shade to match. Her breasts were practically popping out of her shihakusho and she was woozily crooning out some bawdy song she had learned a few weeks ago from one of her squad-mates._

_I kept one eye on her as I snuck a look at the Squad Thirteen papers I had brought with me. The barkeep looked at me as if I weren't right in the head—for bringing work to a bar—but I just shrugged it off. If I was going to sit here all night and watch one of my girlfriends get drunk then I might as well get some work done._

_It was only after a few moments of lazily sipping water and signing sheets that a young man from my division—couldn't remember his name even if I tried—came and plopped down onto the seat next to me._

_This, in and of itself, wouldn't have been an unusual occurrence. After all, I often sit with members of my squad in order to keep up a sense of camaraderie. However, this time was different, mostly because as soon as he was on the stool, his arm was around my shoulders and his lips were pressing firmly against my cheek._

_I practically squawked when I felt his disgustingly wet lips smear against my face. I felt like gagging and vomiting at the same time—if that was even possible. Although in the back of my head—somewhere far, far, away—I realized that I shouldn't hurt this man too much. After all, he really was completely drunk and it really _wouldn't_ be fair of me if I went and cut off his noogies like I normally would for someone who did this sober. I knew that he was under the influence. So I'd be merciful…_

_I'd sic Ichigo on his ass later._

_I was about to elbow him in the place where the sun don't shine when he was instantly yanked off of my body._

_I looked up towards my momentary hero and prepared myself to thank him or her in a manner that clearly said, 'I appreciate what you did but really, I could have handled it myself.' But when I looked up, all I saw was a very drunken Rangiku Matsumoto._

"_Paws off," she shouted, pointing a wobbling finger at the man who was now lying prostrate on the ground. "This here w-woman belongs to Ichi—hic—go Kuros… shhhakeee."_

_I winced at the lisping and slurring pronunciation of my boyfriends' name and immediately prayed that not everyone in the bar heard what Rangiku said._

_They did._

"_Rangiku," I murmured, patting the now-empty seat beside me with obvious intent, "Why don't you take a seat. I'll get the tab and then we can—"_

"_You know," she muttered, a little burp coming from her mouth as she spoke, "I never really understood what you guys—hic—saw in each other."_

_My hands froze in my shihakusho as I started to pull out my wallet._

"_I mean… you're always so… _mean_ to him, ya know? Always kickin' him and punchin' him and being all nasty," she waved a hand in the air and took another swig of her drink. "I don't see how he puts up with you."_

_Anger soon replaced that stabbing sensation of pain inside of my heart._

"_B-But then again," she slurred, "He yells at you—hic—all the time too. He calls you sh—hic—ort and always gets in your—hic—way when you fight. I don't see how _you_ put up with _him_."_

_I still didn't say anything._

_But Rangiku wasn't even starting. "When you look at all the… all the… all the…um, people, yeah! People, in Soul Society, who are… um… you know… with the ceremony and the rings and the—the—party after?"_

"_Married?" The barkeep interjected, oblivious to the glare I was giving him for listening in on our conversation. Well, it wasn't really a conversation, more like a rant given by Rangiku. But I wasn't going to interrupt. Even though it was painful I wanted to know what people said about us behind our backs._

_I wanted to know._

"_Yeah! Thanks sugar! You're cute!" She giggled at him and then swiveled back to me. I took one look at the bartender and realized that Rangiku must have been far more shitfaced than I'd originally assumed. The man was fucking _ugly_._

"_When you look at other people in Soul—hic—Society who are _married,_" she pulled the word out of her mouth with great care, as if she was proud of herself for remembering what it was, "You see them being all quiet and respect—hic—ful towards each other. I mean, your brother and his chick… Hi… uh… Hisa… whatever her name was… I saw them when they got together."_

_I raised an eyebrow, this wasn't something I'd heard before._

"_They were always so _quiet_ together. In public, she never said a word to—hic—him and he never said a word to—hic—her. I mean, you knew they—hic—loved each other and stuff but it was just the—hic—quiet love. You and Ishigoo don't have—hic—that."_

_I winced when she slurred his name but kept silent, my hand in my shihakusho still gripping my wallet._

"_You know… I always thought he'd go for the red-headed chick," she mused, swirling her glass around and sloshing some sake onto the bar. "With the boobs that are almost as perfect as mine," to emphasize her point she cupped said breasts and jiggled them generously, making every man in attendance whip out their video phones and press record._

"_Ori—hic—hime," she said, "That girl… damn, loved him like the—hic—dickens! She was always so _quiet_ about it too. The soft, respect—hic—ful love that you see with… uh, with people like your bro and his wife, or! Or with Kaien and Miyako!"_

_I felt myself nearly on the brink of tears. Why, I didn't know, but I was._

"_Orihime would have been the—hic—respectful, loveable, and cute one." Rangiku let out a bawdy laugh and continued, "You know, once, she told me she was _jealous_ of you? Jealous! Imagine that! All because you made Ishi—hic—goo all happy again before she was carted off with the Arran-hic—car. Boy, but did she love you for bringing him back. She was so proud of you. She wanted to be just like you, you know, all strong and brave and stuff. I think she called you… uh… amazing, yeah! That's it!"_

_My hand was shaking and the barkeep was looking at me funny. I didn't like it._

"_I told her—hic—at that time, that Ishigoo was just a kid and that he—hic—needed both of you. But I guess I was wrong. Looks like he needed you—hic—more. Although… I still don't see it." She grunted and downed the last of her beverage before turning back to me and grinning like a fool._

"_You and Ichigo… you're just not _serious_. Always hitting each other, keeping—hic—each other from fights, calling each other—hic—names. No one in the Seiretei takes you two seriously. It's like… it's like…" she waved her hand in the air and frowned, "Like he's with you because he owes you something… like… for making him a Soul Reaper, I guess."_

_Oh God… why was my chest feeling like it was going to implode?_

"_Then there are—hic—technicalities," she went on, her head drooping to the counter and her voice becoming lower, "Tall and short, black sword and—hic—white sword, brawn and brains… you two are just so… _off_."_

_Why did she have to point out all of the flaws that I thought made us perfect for each other? I would have asked but it was then that I knew I was going to cry. Even though I didn't want to. Even though I knew that if I did I would be officially letting this discussion deeply wound me. Even though I knew that if I cried… that would mean there was some truth behind her words._

_My heart felt like it was bleeding. It felt like Rangiku was purposefully locating all of the scabs I had from my old wounds and picking them open one by one. Tears burned at the back of my eyes but I didn't let them fall._

_She didn't know anything about us… about me. About how horribly guilty I felt about dragging him away from his normal life. About how I wished that I had never allowed that Hollow to take me down in front of his house. About how I wanted to take back my single sword-thrust through his heart. About how I desperately dreamed of him, being normal, being happy… not fighting everyday to stay alive. About how I had begged him, when he finally came to be a Captain in the Soul Society, to go back to Earth and live a normal life._

_After all, if I had never come along… he probably _would_ have been happy. He would probably have found a nice girl to marry and have children. It could have even been Orihime for all I know. He would never have been tormented, tortured, and tried on my behalf._

_I pushed myself away from the bar and immediately exited. I left Rangiku—so drunk that she had already passed out on the counter—behind and moved as quickly as I could to the Third Squad Barracks. I knew that Ichigo would be in his office or in his room. He was probably doing paperwork or reading Shakespeare, as he liked to do on nights like this. I just prayed he wasn't already asleep. I didn't want to have to wake him up if he was tired from a day with the squad. I tried to calm down but nevertheless I trembled as I shunpoed, kicking up more dust than I should have. My brother would have been ashamed of me._

_I found him lying on his bed, his chest naked and damp from a recent shower, he had a book in his hand and a light on near his desk. I couldn't see what it was he was reading but then again, I didn't really care either._

_The minute I appeared in his room his eyes were on me._

"_Hey," he said, setting the book down by his side and gently sitting up on the bed. "What're you doing up so late? It's nearly two in the morning."_

_I blessed the Gods for the dark shadows I was currently standing under. If he could see my face he'd know what was going on._

_I struggled to contain myself and began berating myself mentally for coming here on a whim. It was stupid. Ichigo and I had been seeing each other for nearly fifteen years—a short span of time by Shinigami standards—and over those years we had—repeatedly—discussed his would-have-been life._

_He's told me at least a hundreds of times that he would never trade the way he was living—dying?—now for a life on Earth. He's told me at least a thousands of times that without me and, subsequently, without hollows and Shinigami and evil men attempting to take over the world, that his life would be fretfully dull. Plus, he's told me at least a million times that he'd never, ever, trade what has happened to him for anything resembling normalcy._

_My eyes—which had gone dry during my shunpo—watered once again and I quickly strode over to the bed. Ichigo took one look at my distraught face and tensed up immediately. I knew he wasn't wigging out because I was crying. No, he wanted to know who'd hurt me just so he could go and kill them._

_So even though we're not the type of '_serious'_ couple, as Rangiku put it so eloquently, and even though I'm sure Ichigo would have rather kicked/punched some sense into me rather than coddling me, I'd have to say that we do have our moments._

_This was one of them._

_Ichigo immediately moved to the edge of the bed, swung his legs over, and pulled me into his arms. I sat across his lap instantly and pressed my head on his clavicle. He smelled so nice… so warm and masculine. I breathed in deeply and tried to savor this tranquil moment in our _'non-serious'_ relationship._

"_What's the matter?" He asked me, a hard edge to his voice that I knew meant trouble for the person who was making me feel like this._

"_Nothing," I murmured, pressing a kiss to his collarbone, "Can I just… stay here… tonight?"_

_I could practically see him frowning as he tightened his hold around me. He nodded once—I felt it against my head—and slowly pulled us back into his large bed. His upper body rested against the headboard while one of his arms propped me against him. He rubbed his other hand against the full length of my arm and allowed my legs to tangle with his._

_After several moments just lying down like this, he hesitantly brushed a light kiss over the top of my head. My heart fluttered at the touch. Normally, Ichigo wasn't the most affectionate of people, moments like this—when he would break down the tough barrier around his mind and let me see the real him—were rare indeed._

"_Don't shut me out, Rukia," he murmured, his breath displacing a few hairs on my head. "If someone upset you… tell me so I can kill them."_

_That alone made me chuckle dryly. I snuggled in closer to him and sighed heavily. After a moment I finally chose to speak. "It just gets so… tiring, sometimes."_

"_What does?" He leaned down a bit in his bed and took me with him. Now I was lying flat with him, his arm around me, his hand stroking my hand._

"_Defending," I murmured, staring at a spot on the wall, "Defending us, defending our relationship, having to explain to people why we are the way we are… I'm just getting… _tired._"_

_Ichigo stiffened underneath of me and I heard a low growl emanating from his chest. "Who was it?"_

_I snorted and allowed a finger to swirl around the expanse of his exposed bellybutton. He shuddered lightly at the touch. "I don't think Hitsugaya Taichou would take too kindly to you murdering his fukutaicho."_

"_Rangiku?" He was clearly surprised._

"_She was drunk."_

"_Ah, that's all the explanation needed." He nodded against me and then held me tighter, "She gave you the 'you're-not-serious' and 'I-thought-you-were-better-with-Orihime' spiel, didn't she?"_

_I frowned at that and immediately sat up, leaning my body on the bed so that I could look him in the eye without any difficulty. He raised an orange eyebrow at me and I raised one at him. "You've heard it before?"_

"_Five years ago," he said, stroking my back with one of his large hands, I fought off a shudder, "At a party—and I use that term loosely since your brother was there, hey! Don't hit me! It was for the Taichou's and the fukutaichou's to get better acquainted." He sighed and rolled his eyes, "Trust Shunsi to bring the sake, even though it was supposed to be a _dry_ event. She got so fucking plastered she rattled that speech off to everyone in the room. Needless to say, about everyone in the room actually agreed with her—your brother included—and I left before I could decapitate anyone."_

_My jaw dropped, "B-But… you never told me!"_

_Ichigo furrowed his brow into that lovely scowl that I like so much and nodded, "I didn't want to upset you… and besides, it's not like it's any of their business."_

"_B-B-But…"_

_Ichigo sat up on his elbows and silenced my senseless muttering with a soft kiss to my lips. I moaned instantly and placed my hands on his cheeks. The passion between us sizzled softly as our mouths gently danced. He cupped the back of my neck and slowly teased me while I became squirming putty in his capable hands. I always loved it when we kissed like this. It was so soft and moving and beautiful that I almost felt like crying._

_After a few moments, he pulled back and rested his forehead against mine. I was panting lightly but he was not—a fact for which I cursed him—and he smiled gently at me._

_Oh how I loved that smile._

"_Rukia, I love you, I think I've loved you since before I even knew what would happen to us. Over the years those feelings have not gone away and I don't think they ever will."_

_There were several thoughts running through my head all at once when he said this. One of them was: Oh my God… is he actually communicating with me? Should I film this? As well as: God I love him. And even: Well… he must be under the influence to actually be talking about his feelings with me._

_I didn't care._

"_The point is," he said a bit more loudly than before, perhaps sensing that my thoughts had momentarily drifted. I snapped back into attention immediately and stared into his gorgeous eyes. "I know that we don't have to explain ourselves to _anyone_. We don't have to hide how we feel. Our relationship is our own. We shouldn't feel guilty because we have these feelings for one another. We shouldn't be ashamed to let people know it. We're not going to pretend like it's not there or stay away from each other just because we're a bit… unorthodox. And we _definitely_ shouldn't listen to what other people think, because they're always going to think differently about us. They don't know how we really work, how much we love each other." He stopped to smile at me and pressed a kiss to my nose._

_Do I still exist? Because I think I just melted._

_My stunned brain couldn't even get a signal out to my mind to start working. I didn't say anything. For once, Ichigo was the one who did all the talking._

_He pressed another kiss to my lips and murmured. "Got it?"_

_I only nodded, incapable of doing anything else._

_We settled back onto the bed and he held me tightly in his arms. I curled up against him and gently squeezed his body so closely to mine that not even air could pass between us._

"_I love you, Ichigo Kurosaki," I murmured, tightening my hand in his._

_He grunted as he turned off the light and pulled a small blanket over us. "Che, I know." He paused and I grinned at the return of 'normal Ichigo.'_

"_Don't expect something sappy like that whenever you come to me crying," he muttered, "I must be lightheaded or… or… drugged or whatever. 'Cause you know I don't ever say shit like that."_

_I tried to suppress a giggle. It didn't work. Ichigo bristled beside me. "I know," I murmured, gently feeling myself being tugged into the nether regions of sleep._

_Before I slipped off, I heard Ichigo mutter, "Love you too…"_

_Or maybe I was just imagining it._

Ichigo rolled over on his side and gently wrapped an arm around my waist. I sighed happily and stretched in the sheets as he pressed his warm and naked body against mine. He brought his mouth to my ear and nibbled the lobe for a few moments. His morning shadow scraped against my cheek and I sighed at the sensation. Everything felt so good that I began to get squishy all over again.

"Penny for your thoughts," he murmured, dragging his tongue up the shell of my ear while his hand started to explore the already mapped territory of my left breast.

I sighed and turned until my mouth was near his. We faced each other and I grinned when his fingers didn't stop their journey up my soft mounds. I sighed into his hands and murmured, "The night I went drinking with Rangiku."

His face immediately took on a look of annoyance. He raised an eyebrow and started kissing my neck. "Why would you think about something like that?" He muttered, "Especially post-sex."

"The term is post-coital," I whispered, groaning a bit when he began plucking at my nipple, "And I was just remembering what you said afterwards."

"I didn't say anything," he stoutly disagreed. I grinned and raised my eyes to the ceiling as he pleasured me. I knew that he did remember. He was just pretending not to. He liked to do that whenever I brought up that night. He always hated it when I reminded him of how mushy he got.

"Sure you didn't." I said, giggling when he noted the sarcastic disbelief in my voice and instantly raised his head from my neck. I grinned at him and he smirked back.

"I didn't." He said, his eyes narrowing dangerously but with a happy glint inside of them as well.

"Sure," I sighed nonchalantly, rolling my eyes and then turning away from him.

"You don't believe me?" He said, his clipped tone now becoming lighter. "I'll show _you_ not to believe me."

With that, he launched himself on me and began to tickle me in all the right places. My laughter was instantaneous and nearly uncontrollable. I rolled around the bed and sought to also find the spots I knew were ticklish on him. He warded me off the best he could but in the end, I succeeded. Laughing, we finally took up each other's pillows and began throwing them about, tossing them at each other until all that remained of them were strewn feathers and empty bags.

We laughed long and loud, no doubt waking up the other members of our squad. We didn't care though. We were having fun.

At last, I thought that if all of our relationship was just a joke… then, who's laughing now?


	12. Sweet, Orgasmic, Dreams

**Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any Bleach affiliates.**

**(A/N: I really don't know how this one came to me. But I like the way it turned out. :D**

**Anyway, after I post this I'm planning to write a little two part piece for this series. I think it'll be fun. Until then…**

**PLEASE DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW!!!)**

**Sweet, Orgasmic, Dreams**

**By Tituba**

I hated it when Rukia went out on extensive missions. Just fucking hated it. Granted, since I was her captain (and her boyfriend/lover/sex-god) I tried not to give any of them to her. In fact, I tried to keep her completely away from any and all extensive missions that came my way.

However, if there is one weakness I possess in my position as a captain in the Gotei Thirteen, it's the fact that I absolutely loathe any form of paperwork. Oh, I'll do it, I just hate doing it.

Although, since Rukia's been my vice captain, the amount of paperwork _I've_ had to do has decreased by about eighty percent. Damn perfectionist.

Henceforth, whenever Rukia is flipping through the papers and sees a mission she'd like to go on—or feels that she _should_ go on since she _is_ the lieutenant of the third squad—she scribbles my signature onto the paper, hands it into General Yamamoto, and heads off. Generally she leaves me a post-it note telling me where she went but on the occasion that she goes because she's pissed at me I don't get even that.

So basically I have to spend an entire fucking day running around the Seiretei, looking like a complete and utter idiot, asking people where my lieutenant—girlfriend/lover/sex-goddess—is. All of that when she is, in fact, thousands of miles away on some godforsaken mission that _I _didn't approve.

Peachy.

What I truly hate, however, is the fact that when Rukia comes back from these missions, she goes to my house—which she still hasn't officially moved into. Psh… and she calls _me _the commitment-phobe—plops down on our bed, and goes to sleep.

_Immediately._

That means that when _I_ come home from a day filled with bratty subordinates, snotty know-it-all kids, and constant worrying over my girlfriends' life, I _also_ get to be the one who stays up all night because of my rather adamant sexual frustrations.

_As I walked into my house today, I opened the door and instantly felt the comforting presence of Rukia's reiatsu. It washed over me and I instantly felt like I had just plunged into a nice, warm, bath. I inhaled deeply and slowly made my way up the stairs, stripping off my captain's cloak as I went._

_The door was open so I quickly glanced into my room and saw that Rukia was lying on my bed, still dressed in her own shihakusho, with the covers crumpled underneath of her small body. I leaned against the door frame and grinned as I thought about how cute she was… so tiny… so lithe… so… beautiful._

_As quietly as I could, I set Zangetsu on the special prop I had made for him. I hung up my captain's coat and gently began to stretch all the kinks out of my body. Off went the top of my shihakusho, followed quickly by the bottom. Only when I was finally clad only in my boxers did I get onto the other side of the bed._

_If you didn't already know, all the blood in my brain was currently migrating south._

_I crept up behind Rukia and slowly placed my arm around her tiny waist. As gently as I could I pulled her towards me. She murmured something in her sleep and I snickered lightly. Usually, Rukia was a freakishly heavy sleeper after her missions. I doubted she got much sleep during them, of course, so it was probably a boon to her being able to come home and just… snooze._

_Well, of course I couldn't have _that_._

_Gingerly, I secured my already wrapped arm and tugged her backwards until her ass was pressing directly against my erection. Slowly… ever so slowly… I began to grind myself up against her, reveling in the feeling of her rough clothing caressing me through the thin fabric of my boxers._

_I growled low in my throat and leaned my head forward until I was breathing hotly against her neck. My lips slowly caressed the skin and I felt it prickle gently under my lips._

_She must have woken up at that point._

"_Don't even think about it." She snarled, her voice not even clouded with a little bit of sleep._

_Damn that Kuchiki training._

"_Come on Rukia," I moaned, burying my eyes in her soft skin. But I knew that right now, she meant business. Rukia only used two voices in the bedroom. The first one—the one I liked the most—was gentle and breathy. It was the voice she always used whenever we were screwing. The second voice—the one I dreaded hearing—was the voice she used when she was _commanding_ me… like, on top commanding or 'touch me and you'll lose your hand' commanding._

That_ kind._

_She flipped around in my arms and gave me a horribly ice glare. I think my erection lost a bit of its zing as she stared._

_And snarled._

"_Ichigo Kurosaki," she bit out, "I have been gone for two weeks, during which I have slept about twenty hours… collectively. I am not in the mood to do anything that requires having your penis inside of my vagina."_

_I cringed. I know that I'm a fully grown man and all but still… she could have at least used euphemisms. It just sounded so _scientific_ when she said it like that. Although—and I'm not sure why this popped into my brain right now—as I had learned in high school biology, all sex organs—both male and female—were technically referred to as 'gonads.'_

_Ew._

"_Rukia," I moaned, "Have you forgotten that _I_ haven't seen you in those two weeks?"_

Translation: I haven't been able to screw you senseless in two whole fucking weeks!

"_I missed you," I whispered, staring deeply into her eyes in a manner which I knew just made her melt inside. Gently, I leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her forehead._

Translation: I'm sharing my feelings with you, even if you already knew them. Nevertheless, this means you get to see my squishy side, which I rarely show to anyone, even to you. Doesn't that turn you on? Let's get it on.

_She just snorted and turned around. The fact that she was showing me her ass apparently had no bearing on her mental state. Didn't she know that her ass was just too round and perfect not to be sexually arousing? Didn't she know that all I wanted to do was bite it?_

_Looks like that _zing_ was back._

"_Don't even think about it Ichigo." She grumped with a yawn. "You're not getting laid tonight. Maybe tomorrow night but definitely not tonight. I'm too tired."_

"_Have you forgotten that you don't even need to participate?" I muttered, tugging her back towards me in an attempt to try to persuade her to take off her clothes, lay there, and breathe. "All you need to do it just lay back and let me do all the—ah!"_

_Her fist collided with the side of my face and I was thrown backwards until I was tossed completely off the side of the bed. I groaned and got up until I had my chin propped on the mattress. I sent a chilling glare over to my girlfriend and snorted like an angry bull._

"_Shove it Ichigo," she hissed, "You know full well that I actually _participate_ when we have sex. I'm not just some prostitute that lies on her back and does nothing." She narrowed her eyes and I felt anger boiling in the pit of my stomach._

Oh how I hate this woman.

_Huffing, she stood up from our bed and moved to the side. Quickly, she pulled off her outer black shihakusho and tossed it to the side. She also pulled off her pants and threw them as well. She turned towards him wearing only her yukata. My eyes flashed when I noticed she wasn't wearing a bra._

_Apparently, she saw where my gaze had been going and but she only shrugged. "My bindings were torn."_

"_By what? By whom?" I demanded, scanning her body again like I was trying to be Superman, trying to see through her clothing and all—hey, it was purely to see if she had been injured or not! Nothing more, nothing less._

_Maybe._

_She just shrugged again, "A hollow, but I was fixed up by a part of my team."_

_My eyes flashed at the thought of anyone but me ever seeing Rukia's perfect breasts. It must have shown in my eyes too because the next minute she was snorting in agitation and slipping under the covers. "They were torn from the _back_ idiot. I only got a tiny scratch and besides, a _female_ member of my team healed me."_

"_Rukia," I pointed out angrily, "You thought being speared by an Espada was 'just a scratch.'"_

"_Well it was," she muttered, yawning theatrically. "Go to _sleep_, Ichigo."_

"_Tell that to mini-me." I snarled. On the other side of the bed I could swear that she was smirking wickedly at me._

Henceforth the reason I am in my current predicament.

I growled low under my breath and kept my strained eyes on the ceiling. Christ, I was just _throbbing_ down there. Just knowing that Rukia was sleeping beside me—naked except for a yukata—was enough to make me just want to pound into her.

"'Don't even think about it,'" I muttered, softly mimicking her velvety voice without raising it high enough to awaken her. "Che," I snorted. "Frustrating bitch."

_Oh just face it,_ I thought to myself scathingly, _you're totally whipped. Get over yourself._

Still, I snarled. How I hated having blue balls.

So the only problem left was… what was I going to do about it now?

I could just go into the bathroom and try to get this over with myself. However, that, I knew, would be nearly impossible. I don't know what it was about Rukia but… damn, after feeling her tight womb gripping me as she rippled through an orgasm, screaming, crying, and shouting my name as she went… I just can't seem to get off just using my hand.

Plus, after being with Rukia so many times over the past fifty years I had just gotten so used to coming inside of her. My own hands barely compared to her deliciously gripping warmth.

So that left me with three options.

Option Number One: Wake Rukia up and try to convince her to have sex with me.

Probability of Success: Near zero. The damn bitch was baiting me enough as it was with her skimpy little see-through yukata.

Option Number Two: Cold shower.

Probability of Success: About seventy five percent. I'd still want her though; I'd just be too cold to do anything about it.

Option Number Three: …

An evil grin appeared on my face.

_Oh I am _bad_._

Moving as slowly and as deliberately as I could, I turned towards Rukia. Her back was facing my front and her hands were tucked delicately under the pillow under her head. I grinned when I thought of how she'd ordered this western style bed when we first decided to semi-move in together. She said it was much more comfortable to have sex on than a tatami mat.

"_Especially since I'm the one being pounded into most of the time," she told me dryly, "Do you have any idea how many back problems this could cause me?"_

The mattress didn't make a sound as I reached both hands into the covers and slowly stripped myself of my boxers. I brought them out and tossed them uselessly into the room. Grinning, I slowly stroked myself twice. I was already at full attention because of a certain _someone_… _glare_. I erased it from my face and silently turned to my girlfriend, gently looking over to Rukia's sleeping form.

Damn she looked so peaceful. With the moonlight shining through the crack in my window her skin looked practically luminescent. I sighed and inched towards her. She moaned a little in and slowly pushed herself against me.

Fuck, even in her sleep she was toying with me.

Well… doesn't mean I couldn't toy _back_.

I wrapped my arm around her softly and allowed it to drape over her entire waist.

_Oh this was going to be fun._

Right now, the fact that Rukia was such a heavy sleeper at the end of her missions was a _blessing_ instead of a curse.

My fingers toyed with the end of her yukata while my second hand reached down to grip my own length. I clenched my hand around myself and brushed my thumb over my tip, jerking as I did so.

With my other hand I slid my fingers up the length of Rukia's stomach. Her toned and defined muscles expanded and contracted gently as her breathing continued. It was a bit faster than her normal sleeping breathing but I didn't mind. I knew she wouldn't wake up soon. Or, at least I hoped.

I felt my reiatsu flutter just a bit and tried to calm myself down. Rukia had once told me that my reiatsu—in large amounts—made her hot for me. A fact which I greatly appreciated. However, she also informed me of the fact that—if she was sleeping—the presence of my spiritual pressure could lull her into a deep sleep.

I hoped it had the latter effect.

Gently, I allowed my hand to slip up her softly toned stomach and tease her breasts. She moaned gently in her sleep and I grinned wickedly, trying hard not to sink my teeth into her supple neck. God… it was times like this when I just wanted to _mark _her. She was _mine_ after all.

Her nipples were hard pebbles under my insistent fingers. I chuckled darkly into her ear and used my other hand to continue caressing myself. I gave my warm erection long, generous, strokes as I played with Rukia's breasts. Occasionally I switched from one to the other, making sure to give each little pearl of pleasure equal amounts of attention.

Because favoring one over the other just wasn't _right._

After a few moments I allowed the hand currently molesting my girlfriend to slide back down. She moaned a few times as I swirled my pointer finger in her tiny belly button. I wondered if she thought she was dreaming right now. Damn, I hope it involved me and several forms of extremely hot, sweaty, sex.

I also hoped that she wouldn't wake up and throttle me for this.

My fingers tangled in the bed of silky curls at the apex of her thighs. I could feel the dampness coating them and smirked instantly. So the little minx was getting horny even when she was asleep? Happily, I lowered my fingers until they reached the cleft in her legs. With my pointer finger I slowly slipped through the delicate partition of her lips in several, lazy, strokes.

Her reaction was instantaneous. She jerked forward and nearly curled herself into a ball. I frowned and eased my hand back up between her breasts, pushing on the center of her chest so that she was resting her shoulder blades against my pectorals. I could feel her heart on my palm and noticed that it was hammering hard. I simply grinned.

I placed my face in the juncture of her shoulder and her neck, softly restraining her so that she couldn't do that again. Just for added effect, I languidly allowed my tongue to escape from my mouth. I ran it over her pulse and used it to draw her earlobe into my mouth, sucking it lightly.

She gasped in a ragged, beautiful, breath and I snickered. With more urgency, I used the hand that was grasping my erection to pump myself even harder. I angled my hand back down to Rukia's center and ran two of my fingers over her slot.

This time her back arched the way I wanted it to. She pushed her chest out and tilted her body back so that she was laying half-flat on the mattress, one side of her body up and the other down. Her eyes were shut tightly and her legs were spread far. I felt my breath catch in my throat but without losing any time, I slipped my fingers down even further and plunged two into her.

A sharp gasp ran through the room as Rukia once again arched her body against mine. Her head was thrown back against my shoulder and her hands were clutching the sheets of the bed tightly. Her breathing was heavy and her eyes were screwed tightly. I tried to control my own breathing but knew that it was becoming nearly impossible. Not with Rukia grinding her hips against my fingers like that.

_Christ, does she even know she's doing this?_

The hand that was currently gripping and rubbing my own erection became even more insistent. I groaned when I realized that my sweating palm wasn't nearly enough to emulate the wet heat of Rukia's tight center… but if would have to do. I grimaced when I thought of going through all this work and being left unfulfilled.

_Well,_ I amended gently, _it'll be worth something so long as Rukia gets hers._

Damn I'm chivalrous.

I pumped my two fingers in and out of her tight, wet, amazingly fantastic core. I brushed my thumb over her clit again and again, listening to her breathing become ragged and forceful, watching her body gyrate against my fingers, feeling her skin become slick with sweat, making her yukata stick wetly to her body. I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply. Her scent was heavy on her neck and I drew it all into me. I needed it.

I needed _her_.

In my mind it was not my fingers that were currently violating her most sacred of places. It was my cock, large and full, shoving its way into her and pulling out. She was screaming beneath me. Her eyes were shut. Her nipples were so tight that they burned as they brushed against my rough skin.

I felt convulsions rack through my body as I came, thoughts of Rukia in my head. My semen flowed through me and smeared over Rukia's exposed backside, dripping down onto the blankets surrounding us. At the exact moment I came I felt her contract around my fingers. Juices exploded from her center and bathed my fingers in their essence. She gasped loudly and jerked her body into a tight arch. Her shoulders dug into my chest and her legs clamped around my fingers.

My breathing was hot and heavy against her neck. I could feel beads of sweat running down my face but I didn't care. I blinked when I realized that somehow, my teeth had become latched onto her neck, marking her as I had originally wanted to do.

After a few minutes my breathing finally calmed down. I removed my mouth from Rukia's perfect neck and brought my hand away from my own spent erection. The fingers inside of my girlfriend, however, stayed where they were, happy in their own little heaven. I moaned as quietly as I could and gently opened my eyes; I felt content, satisfied—although not fully—and ready to indulge in sleep.

It was only then that I realized a pair of rather miffed violet eyes was staring back at me.

"Ichigo."

_Uh oh._

"Hey Rukia," I muttered, drawing out the first word until it sounded only slightly guilty, instead of completely. I quickly looked over at the window and frowned, feigning ignorance to the fact that two of my fingers were still inside of her body. "Morning already?"

"You prick," she muttered, glaring at me angrily.

"As I remember correctly," I stated dryly, glaring back at her, "You told me that I couldn't do anything that had to do with my penis inside of your vagina." I gave her a blank stare and smirked, knowing full well that I was right. "My penis was never inside of your vagina, _Rukia_."

My smirk turned into a grin as I noticed her infuriated expression. However, before she could speak, I slowly allowed my fingers to shift inside of her. I noticed immediately that her pupils dilated at the sensation. Another smirk appeared on my mouth as I realized just how I was going to get out of this particular situation.

She swallowed when she saw that certain gleam in my eye. _I_ knew that _she_ knew how, exactly, I was planning to get off the hook here.

"Get," she demanded, her teeth gritting together as I began to slide my fingers deeper inside of her, hitting that spot that I knew would make her flow like a waterfall. "Out of… _gasp_… me."

"No," I murmured into her neck, my hot breath caressing her neck. I brushed my thumb against her clit and then began rubbing it vigorously.

She was lost.

"Ichi—Ichi—_go_!" She cried breathlessly, her hand reaching back and gripping my neck.

"You made me come outside of you once," I growled, placing my mouth directly against her ear and blowing hotly, she shuddered violently and I smirked. "I'm _not_ going to do that again. _Ever._"

She convulsed angrily as her body was sent into another orgasm. I was surprised at how quickly she came.

But hey, I'm just _that_ talented.

I smirked and flipped her around, pushed up her yukata, and grinned down at her evilly. "Like I said… I not going to do that again, Rukia Kuchiki."

I expected her to come back with some fiery response but instead of lashing out at me—verbally of course, since her body currently resembled a pile of gelatin—she smirked and spread her legs wide, giving me a delectable view of her wet, gleaming, and pink flesh.

I stared down at her, openmouthed and starving.

"If you're going to deprive me of sleep, Kurosaki," she murmured huskily, using that bedroom voice I liked, "You'd better make it worth my while."

I grinned.

_Oh how I love this woman._


End file.
